Page 59 of Catching Feels

“Nah, she’s a cool chick. I was a revenge fuck. Her ex started seeing someone and …” He stops. “Doesn’t matter. We’re cool. No one knows, but I was fucking terrified, and I’m not doing that shit again.”

“What if it was something more?”

“It’s not. I’ve had plenty of women I should have fallen head-over-heels for, but it’s just not there, Jillian, you know? Like, I think he broke something on the inside, too, that didn’t heal, like a nose.”

“No, I don’t believe that.” I climb out of my little bunk and make my way back to him.

“You don’t believe in love.” He forces out a laugh as I lie down beside him and grab his hand like he used to do to me when things were bad.

“I do. I just don’t believe we all have to have it to be happy, and I don’t believe it’s something you search for. I think it’s something you should allow yourself to fall into, if and only if it’s the real deal.”

“He’s just like him. I see it coming.”

I squeeze his hand. “How so?”

“Wasn’t good enough to be drafted to play college ball; walked on, didn’t play unless ’Cuse was ahead by enough in the last couple minutes that it wouldn’t fuck up the win. More than likely kept on as a bench, riding a GPA boost.”

“Not so much like Dad then.”

“Except the part he’s an insufferable dick when he drinks.”

“You’re friends, you and Riley, right?”

He nods.

“Tell her your concerns.”

“Not my place.”

“Then tell her it’s not your place, but maybe show some vulnerability in telling her you see the parts of him you know he’s hiding from her.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

After Hudson is snoring softly across the room, I fluff my pillow and set my phone on the shelf. I am about to fall asleep when I get an alert from the app that I was sure I snoozed for a week to allow for the feels to set in, if they were going to.

I reach up, see the notification, and tap to open it.

SportsManSam: Hear me out before you block me again. You and I are in the same boat. Both of us testing a theory by using this app. First RBI in my career after the nip selfie. First grand slam after fucking the unicorn. Tonight, I hit for shit because 1 - as much as I can detach, my head’s a little fucked up that the unicorn is distantly related to my ball fam, or 2 - I need that rush that you gave me, or 3 - I’m getting kicked in the balls by Karma for all of this and might as well finish out this contract, tuck my tail between my legs, and head back to school, proving my parents right, that this was a horrible lapse in judgment on my part.

His dot is moving again. To stop his spiral, I quickly type back.

GoodTimesOnly: I’m not going to ask how you got unblocked, or into my phone. I’m just going to assume that you’re a sneaky little bastard and a few seconds with my phone in your hand was enough to do all that. So, if I’m reading this right, you have more than just a unicorn kink; you’re into far more deviant things and may have an incest fantasy. Ew. Because you’re obviously in your feels and spiraling, I’ll bite.

I send it then sit up, lift my shirt, push my boob up, maneuver her in a somewhat painful position that allows me to grab the end of my barbell with my teeth, and take a selfie, making sure my face doesn’t completely show. Then I hit send.

GoodTimesOnly: If that doesn’t work, you’re on your own, kid. Kick as tomorrow. Goodnight.

SportsManSam: You know, if this works, I’m gonna need more.

GoodTimesOnly: This completely contradicts the man losing his shit about my brother(s).

SportsManSam: For the love of the game, and lucky nips, I may be able to separate the two.

Lucky nips? I laugh to myself.

GoodTimesOnly: I didn’t start this project to become a bow to the man kind of bitch. It’s give and take *woman shrugging emoji*

SportsManSam: And I’m not the guy who will ever send random dick pics without a request.

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