“It’s not like I’m scared of it.” She rolls her black and blue eyes, but then she reaches for it, looking so fucking uncomfortable it pisses me off. When she opens it, however, she immediately starts laughing, and I can’t be pissed off anymore.
“Deathbed promised Mama June that when I finally asked Gwendolyn York to marry me, I’d do it with this ring because she knew how much you loved it.”
“You’re so full of shit,” she says, still laughing.
“You think anyone else ever gushed over that thing?” I laugh. “You think if she took it to the grave, I’d dig her up so you could have it?”
“I mean, rude.” She tries and fails to act pissed.
“Yeah, well, that right there is a reason never to tell a lie.”
“A cautionary tale.” She smiles at the damn thing.
I nod. “I’m not sure if Mom is happier to be rid of it or at the thought that I’m going to get down on one knee and propose to Gwendolyn York.”
“I mean, if it’s the first, and she has to take it back with her, she’s going to be pissed.”
“Mom’s exact words, ‘I’m just so tickled I survived cancer so that I could be here to see Mama June’s ring on Gwenie’s finger.’ Imagine how she’s going to feel when I tell her you told me no.”
“Cancer?” Gwen asks.
“Thyroid. She’s good now.”
“Okay. Good.” She nods quickly up and down, then looks down and scowls. “But you didn’t ask me.”
“What?” I ask, knowing damn well I’m hearing things.
“I mean, if you did, it would be because of the whole thirty-fifth birthday thing, and we’d have to learn how to navigate all that—prenups, how many years we’re obligated, and?—”
“For me, it wouldn’t necessarily be about the big three-five. It would be?—”
“It couldn’t be about this.” She rests her hand on her belly. “Because I’m not talking about it with anyone. It’ll hurt too bad to even …” She clears her throat. “So, that would have to be agreed upon.”
My fucking heart is beating so damn hard right now.
“So? Are you going to or not?”
“Make a deal with me?”
She shrugs, brows knit, staring down.
“Let me do it the way I wanted to back then. How I still want to.”
“Is that a good idea when …?” She rests her hand on her belly. “If …” She stops. “I can’t be with you if.”
“When you can smile about that, then it’s a factor. Until then, keep telling yourself it’s the thirty-fifth thing, but let me do this my way.”
“Only if it’s with this ring.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shake my head. “No. No way?—”
“That’s how deals work, Locke. You get to put something on the table, and so do I.”
I lift my chin, hoping I’m pulling off acting like this is no big deal when it’s the biggest deal of my life.
We eat our chicken, both trying to be chill.
Fuck, ‘Our Song’