Page 62 of Level Up

Now this.

I messed up.

Jay was hurt, and it was my fault. The fact that I was the one who hurt him only made things a thousand times worse. And for something that my father was behind in the first place.

I just hoped I would get a chance to make things right.

I paced myself back to the bed, where I flopped down face-first into the pillow. I considered going to the gym and getting a workout in to try and ease the anxiety coiling up in my muscles. Sure, it was late, but the gym was twenty-four hours.

My phone rang.

Jay’s smiling face filled my screen. It was a picture I snapped of him yesterday at Passions. A bright blue light lit him from behind as his eyes caught the rays of a nearby disco ball.

I snatched the phone off the nightstand and answered. “Jay, fuck, I’m sorry. Before you hang up or something, I need to say I’m sorry. I messed up by not telling you sooner.”

There was a small moment of silence that felt as if it stretched on into a decade’s worth. “Ry, it’s okay. Meet me at that one spot near the tennis courts? We’ll talk there.”

“See you in a bit.”

He said it’s okay.

I raced to put on gym shorts and throw on a T-shirt. I didn’t realize it was on backward until I was out of the dorm and headed to the spot Jay talked about. I knew exactly what he meant.

I hurried down the quiet street, passing by a couple of giggling freshmen who must have gotten one of the upperclassmen to buy them alcohol. I took a turn and walked past the science building, the gym, and the library. The entire walk had me planning what I was going to say to him.

Jay, it’s not me. It’s my dad.

Jay, I swear I tried to stop him.

Jay, please believe me.

He sat at the table next to a small pond, the light from the full moon bouncing off the calm surface. It was dark out, but there was plenty of light from a nearby streetlamp so that I could see the brief flicker of a smile flash across Jay’s face when he saw me.

It made me forget about everything I was going to say. Instead, I settled for “I hate hurting you.”

Jay patted the empty space next to him. Okay, good. So I hadn’t made up that smile. He really didn’t seem to hate me as much as I thought.

“You didn’t hurt me. You just… surprised me. And not in a good way. You know how much I love surprises, but this one kind of sucked bull balls. Big ones. Hairy ones.”

That got a snort out of me. I quickly composed myself, although I saw the flash of that smile again. Like a bright comet streaking across the dark night sky.

“But I get it.”

Jay saying those four words was like applying aloe vera to a scalding burn.

“You do?” I asked.

Jay nodded. He reached for my hand and grabbed it. “Now it’s my turn: I’m sorry for overreacting. I blew up when I should have stayed and listened. That was messed up on my part. I was being a drama queen. So I’m sorry for that.”

His apology felt honest. “You don’t have to apologize, Jay.” I squeezed his hand. His smile no longer flickered.

“It’s what I get for dating the star of the show,” I said, leaning forward.

“Hardly the star.”

“More like… forget it.” I caught myself. The joke was too silly for the moment.

“Say it,” Jay said, eyes narrowed.

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