Page 60 of Level Up

My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out, expecting to see Ryan’s name but surprised to see Maddy instead.

“Girl, you have a sixth sense for trouble.”

“I like to call it a sixty-ninth sense because it sounds sexier.” She chuckled over the phone and got a dry laugh out of me. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything,” I said, leaning into the dramatics. My theater training was clearly paying off. “Where are you?”

“I’m at my dorm. Want to come over?”

“I’ll be there in a second.” I hung up and pushed off the wall. I half expected Ryan to run out of our building with his arms out, asking me to come back.

Half-wanted him to.

I was sure I would have turned around and likely caved if that happened. I even glanced over my shoulder a couple of times, the door opening and my heart skipping a beat, only to see two faces I didn’t recognize walking out. It was naïve of me to expect anything else. It was more naïve of me to expect anything from someone who I just started dating.

Relationships were rare for me, so when they happened, I normally got pretty attached right off the bat. That feeling was exponential with Ryan. Even though I had tried fighting it in the beginning, he whittled away at my walls with his charming smile, big shoulders, and funny jokes. I fell for him before we ever even made it official.

I crossed the quiet campus, passing by the few late-nighters who walked either to the library or the bars. Palm trees swayed in the gentle wind. The salty breeze from the nearby ocean rolled over me and made my stomach instantly clench. I pushed it out of my mind, trying not to think about how I simultaneously hated the ocean and also hated the people responsible for destroying it.

Maddy was waiting for me outside of her door to her dorm. She was in her teal pajama shorts and an oversized Cher T-shirt, her bright pink hair now with streaks of teal. She cocked her head as she took stock of me.

“Oh, you look like you’ve been through it. Come inside.”

Before I did, I pulled out my phone and shot a quick text.

I’m at Maddy’s.

Ok. Thank’s for giving me the heads up.

This dry texting between us wrenched my heart. I spun between being angry at him and wondering if any of this really mattered?

I typed up a response without second-guessing it.

I’ll let you know when I’m heading back

Thanks, Jay. And I’m really sorry about tonight.

It’s… it’ll be ok.

I didn’t second-guess that text either. Even though inside I steamed like a boiling pot of water, even deeper, somewhere tucked away inside my heart, I knew we’d be able to work this out.

I just needed to vent to my bestie first before I vented all over him.

Maddy held the door open. Her dorm was small, perfectly organized and decorated. She shared the dorm with her roommate, Claire, who must have been one of those late-nighters I saw when I was crossing campus since her bed was empty. Posters of various pop stars hung on the walls, along with a serene little water feature that trickled over smooth rocks on their shared nightstand.

Maddy went over to her laptop and shut it, the sounds of whatever reality TV show she was watching still playing.

“No, fuck you! I can’t believe you’d do that to me!” came from out of the closed laptop.

“Ah, shit,” Maddy said, opening it again and closing out of her show. “I really need to get that fixed. Thank God it wasn’t anything naughty.”

“I wouldn’t have judged,” I said, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

“I’m sure you wouldn’t have.” She sat down next to me, a hand on my shoulder. “Spill it. What’s got you walking around campus at night like the ghost of FU past?”

I dropped my head back and let out a long sigh. “Ryan and I are over.”

“What!”

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