Page 32 of Level Up

“It really was. Let’s do it again tonight.”

“Let’s,” I said, already getting hard at the thought.

The ridiculousness of the moment struck us both, just two horny guys talking about boning each other while the cutest chipmunk in the world munched away on some nuts. Soon, we were hunched over, laughing and scattering crumbs for our new furry friend. The tension and emotion of the afternoon faded away.

After a while, the chipmunk scampered back into the undergrowth, its mission accomplished. “Maybe you’re right,” Jay murmured, almost to himself, “About my dad. Thanks for this, Ryan. Seriously.”

As the afternoon light began to wane, casting long shadows across the meadow, the knowledge settled over me: whatever happened with us, whatever Jay decided about his future, this moment right here—the laughter, the quiet vulnerability, and the shared joy of feeding a wild chipmunk—it mattered. It all happened for a reason.

A sense of anticipation thrummed beneath the surface of our easy quiet. The sun began its slow descent in the sky. I watched as Jay turned his face toward the fading light, his expression open and unguarded. He seemed so different here—softer, more accessible. Impulsively, I reached out, my fingers brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead.

Jay startled slightly, turning his surprised gaze toward me. The air crackled with unspoken questions. A part of me, the rational, cautious part, screamed to pull back, to protect myself from whatever lay behind that look. But another, deeper part of me, a part that was increasingly difficult to ignore, urged me to lean in.

I closed the distance between us.

Time seemed to slow as my lips brushed against his. It was tentative, a whisper of possibility, yet it resonated through me like a thunderclap. It wasn’t like the primal kisses from earlier.

This one held more. It held the future.

Jay didn’t pull away. A soft sigh escaped his lips, his breath warm against my skin.

“Come on, let’s head back before it gets dark,” I said. “We can keep this going in the dorm.”

The beat of a techno song playing through my headphones pounded in time with my feet as I jogged the familiar path toward the boathouse. It was located a little further from the FU campus. Rowing practiced at a large lake more inland. Some people drove or rode their bikes, but I enjoyed the run.

Especially today. It helped me process everything I’d learned about Jay just yesterday. After he revealed the final piece of the tapestry that made him who he was.

My heart hurt for him. The pain he must have felt. The what-ifs, the nightmares, the sorrow, the survivor’s guilt. It was nearly too much for me to handle just listening. I couldn’t imagine how hard it was to live through.

No wonder he had such a hard shell. The world had betrayed him in one of the most fundamental ways imaginable.

Usually, this run down the trail was my zone. The burn in my legs, the crisp air in my lungs—they cleared my head, readied me for the focused intensity of rowing. Especially since Coach probably had some extra shit for me to do for missing practice yesterday.

Not that I cared. I’d do it all over again for Jay.

My phone buzzed, the ringtone cutting through my music. It was Dad.

“Hey, Dad, what’s up?” I answered, wiping my forehead with the back of my hand.

“My favorite son. Listen, we need to talk.” His voice crackled. Clearly he was excited about something.

Also, I was his only son, so it wasn’t too difficult to earn the “favorite” title.

“Just had class and headed to practice, Dad. Can this wait…?”

“No, I don’t think it can. There’s a drilling project happening off Beacon’s Bay and I’m going all in. And since you’re close to there, I want you working alongside me. I want you seeing how these deals shape from the ground up so that one day, you can do the same.”

My blood ran cold. Jay had talked about that exact project, seething every time he brought it up. And now, my family was pouring money into the very thing he was fighting against.

Immediately I was hit with a storm of questions.

Did I tell him? Confess my family’s direct involvement and risk losing him entirely? Do I hide it from him? Act is if I never knew a thing? The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth. Yet, could I keep something so significant from someone who had let me into his own vulnerable space the day before?

“Dad, sorry, signal’s bad. Gotta head to practice—” I didn’t wait for his response, shoving the phone into my pocket with trembling hands. I had to make my choice, and it already felt like swallowing broken glass, whichever decision I chose.

I needed a little more time. I knew my dad would be calling me back, and I’d need to have a solid answer for him.

Everything Jay cared about, everything he’d spoken about with such passionate conviction, was about to be trampled underfoot by my family. The world seemed to spin, and I stumbled to a stop, leaning against a tree to catch my breath.

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