Page 79 of Level Up

“I was told it was,” my father said, still looking at me with an anger that must have matched mine. “Are you sure those papers are real?”

I stepped forward, sand kicking up at my feet. “Are you saying that my friend’s are lying?”

“I’m saying that this needs to be shut down, son.” He said the word as if he wielded it like a whip. I almost heard the crack in the air, felt the sting of it across my chest.

The police officer cleared his throat. “This is seeming to me like a family issue now. The permit checks out, and nothing about this seems like it needs to be shut down. If a real emergency happens, you can call us again.” My father appeared to be ready to argue, but the cops weren’t having it. They turned and left without another word shared.

I could feel the stares pinned to my back. The ocean was loud, the waves crashing on the shore creating a peaceful chorus to the absolute chaos raging inside me. Even then, the waves couldn’t drown out the whispers behind us.

Jay stood by my side, his presence as solid as an anchor holding down a ship. He appeared a little more at ease now that the police were gone, but there was nothing about this situation that said it was over.

“Ryan. This is an insult. To me, to your mother, to the entire family. Do you really want to show such a rift to the entire world? Channel Seven news is here, for Christ’s sake. And what is that backdrop on the stage?” He motioned at the stage, raising his hand and nearly missing my face by mere inches.

I didn’t flinch. “It’s a visualization of the damage your company is doing to our world.” I made sure to emphasize that I wasn’t part of his toxic empire.

“You’re falling for this propaganda. And worse, now you’re involved in spreading it.”

Jay spoke before I could untangle my words through the fog of anger. “It isn’t propaganda. It’s science. It’s fact. Why else would Redpine Global be number three on the EPA’s list of destructive companies?”

My father cocked his head. He looked like a hawk ready to stab his claws into an unsuspecting mouse. “Who are you?”

“His name is Jay. He’s my boyfriend,” I answered. “I would have introduced you by now if you and I were speaking. But since you chose to push me out, you don’t get to know what’s going on in my life.”

My father’s attention whipped back to me. But there was a crack in his armor, chipped by what I’d said. I could tell my words didn’t anger him… they hurt him. His brows pulled together, his chin rising. My dad and I never fought. Not like this. But our relationship had been building to a boiling point for weeks now, and the pot was now bubbling over.

I hated this. Not him, but the situation he’d put us in.

“Son…”

The silence behind us was growing. People were likely wondering what the hell was taking so long. Before my father could continue, I leaned over and got Maddy’s attention. “Can you tell them to start? We don’t have to keep everyone waiting.”

It was a question but also a clear statement: this show wasn’t stopping. No matter who showed up or how angry they were. Fuck it.

My father watched Maddy walk back to the stage while we shuffled a few feet away, where we could talk with a little more privacy. A few minutes later, some music began to play as a drag queen took the mic and started to introduce why we were all here. Her words didn’t get past the ringing in my ears or the anxiety and fear that crept toward me like dark gray storm clouds, thunderclaps booming like bombs.

“I had an entire empire for you. I made this all for you. Having a son was one of the proudest moments of my life, and seeing you grow into the man you’ve become has topped that… but this? This I never saw coming.”

I stood my ground, planting my bare feet in the warm sand. “If you were paying attention, you would have. You weren’t even at my race! At least mom apologized. I had no idea she had a show she couldn’t move. But I know exactly why you didn’t show up.”

My dad reeled at that. I must have struck a nerve. He was never a bad father; I hadn’t fought with him until recently, until this. I knew he considered himself to be a good dad, too. Even though his schedule was always packed, he always made time for me and Mom. But lately, he’d been so caught up in making me an heir that he forgot to ask me if I even wanted it.

“That’s… that’s…” His face grew red. He was getting angrier. I may have stepped over a line in the sand, but I couldn’t hold myself back.

Jay stepped forward, surprising me, and both my dad and I turned to look at him. He had a slight tremble in his hand.

I reached for him, twining my fingers through his. “I clearly may not be the best person to mediate this, but… as someone who—” His voice cracked. I squeezed his hand. “As someone who lost their dad and experienced the worst pain of my life, I see it all happening right here in front of me, all over again. And that—” Another crack.

“It’s okay,” I reassured him. “It’s okay, you don’t have to.”

“I know, but I want to somehow make things better.” Jay wiped at his cheeks. I could see them glisten under the bright sunlight. “I don’t like where this is heading. As much as I hate what your company is doing, I’ve learned through being with Ryan that judging someone based off one assumption or quality or job isn’t always fair. There’s so many more sides to someone underneath all the bullshit we project outwards.

“And there’s so much more to your relationship than the business. Please, don’t let this destroy you guys. I… I miss my dad every single day. Losing him was losing a piece of me. So seeing this, knowing how much Ryan loves you, it breaks my heart. My dad died out there.” He pointed out to the ocean, the waves lapping at the shore. “The waters we’re trying to protect. I’ve learned to push past the shit holding me down, the emotions that were poison to my system, and I’m happier because of it. I need you both to push past this. Reclaim what it is you guys had because that’s special. No money or business or person should be able to tear that away.”

His words hit with the accuracy of a bullseye. Jay spoke all the emotions and fears I had inside me but couldn’t vocalize. I didn’t want to lose my dad, not because of this or anything else. It was just a company, just money. At the end of the day, I could see none of that mattered when Jay talked about not having his father anymore.

But before I could add to the conversation—although I wasn’t even entirely sure what to add with how beautifully Jay said it all—my dad spoke. To my surprise, his voice had a tremor to it. “I’m sorry, Jay, about you losing your dad. I experienced something similar as a kid. My father died in a car accident. He had been the one to start Redpine Global, and when he died, I threw myself into the company as if that would bring him back.” My dad paused. Took a breath. Barreled forward. “As if I could buy him back into my life. It was foolish, but that kind of pain causes us to haywire. We try to piece together fragments of a broken puzzle any way we can, all the while knowing it will never be whole again. You’re right. About everything. About my love and pride for you, Ryan, my only son, and also for the damage I’ve been causing.

“It’s something I’ve been aware of, but I always pushed it away. Thinking about letting down my father.” He turned his icy-blue eyes toward me, except there was enough warmth in them to melt a glacier. “I was wrong about that, too. I needed to be more focused on not letting you down, son. And I can see that I have now. I’m sorry.”

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