Page 12 of Savage Warrior

I’ve been handy with my lists the last few days, swinging at anyone who so much as glances at me. I know what I’m doing. I even think I know why. I deserve to be punished for the death of my friend and I’m looking for someone to do it for me. Ethan has forbidden anyone to retaliate no matter what the provocation.

The bastard.

“I know a place,” he continues.

“I don’t need—”

“Remember the ghillie’s hut?” He ignores my interruption. “We went there a couple of years ago. You, me, Aaron, and Tony. Fishing.”

“What of it?” I do remember the week we spent up there in the mountains, just the four of us surrounded by a whole lot of fuck all. The closest civilisation was fifty miles away. We were holed up in a one-room hut living off what we could hunt or fish. Actually, I rather enjoyed it. Aaron and Tony hated it. Not sure what Ethan thought, but as far as I know he’s never been back.

“You still have that place?”

“It was my father’s, so yes. Local ghillie keeps an eye on it for me in exchange for the use of it himself when he needs it. It’s yours for as long as you want it.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so.” Even though I may remember the hut with a degree of fondness, just getting there would be too much like hard work. It’s fifty miles from the nearest proper road to start with.

Ethan is undeterred. “I need you to think about it. Or come up with a better plan yourself.”

“Why? I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. This has to stop.”

“What does?” I demand. “People just need to stay out of my way, and we’ll be peachy.”

“I can’t have you hitting out at everyone around you. Me included.”

“I’m sorry, boss.” Belatedly, I’m beginning to realise I crossed a line.

“I know. It’s done. But I care about you. We all do. And I dread to think what sort of a menace you’d be with a gun in your hand. You need to get past this. If you won’t listen to me, or to your friends, maybe you’ll listen to yourself if there’s no other background din.”

“Boss, I just need—”

Ethan’s tone hardens. I’ve heard this timbre before, and I know he’s serious.

“I mean it, Rome. I’m in charge here, it’s my call now, not yours. I want you back, but only when you’re ready. So, which is it to be? The hut or some better plan of your own?”

I close my eyes. Somewhere, in some broken, angry, tormented corner of me, I know he’s right. Logic is staring me in the face, but grief and self-loathing have somehow obscured all of that, made me incapable of functioning, of rational thought.

But one thing I am certain of, I’m not fit to be around people who matter to me. My boss is right about that, at least. My friends deserve better.

“I’ll think about it,” I mutter.

“Fair enough.” Ethan relaxes his hold on me and reaches into his jacket pocket. “Just don’t take too long about it. I need you.”

He retrieves a slip of paper with three words jotted on it and hands it to me. “These are the ‘What Three Words’ coordinates for the hut. Nothing but trees, rocks, and heather within fifty miles of the place. You can commune with sheep…”

“I’m not—”

“You’re thinking about it, remember? I’ll let the ghillie know to stock the place and make sure the generator’s working. You just make your way up there whenever you’re ready.”

I don’t even bother protesting any more. Ethan’s not a man who likes to take ‘no’ for an answer, and he seems set on this. Maybe I can just wait it out and he’ll let it go…

He continues. “Take a Land Rover and drive up there. Buy some supplies on the way because you’ll need them. Stay as long as you need to. We’ll be waiting when you’re ready to come back, however long it takes.”

I return his gaze, absently stroking my bruised chin. I’m not about to say so, but the prospect of some time alone is sort of welcome. How did he know…?

I shake my head. Ethan always fucking knows.

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