Page 84 of Taken By Touch and Torment

“Of course, baby,” Rune said.

I kept my coat closed tight over my body. I refused to let Rune catch any more glimpses of how ugly my skin looked, how withered I’d become, the evidence of where other men’s hands had been. I felt gross and ruined. I wondered if he was disgusted—if it was hard to look at me. I wanted to go back to how I was before as soon as possible.

Rune noticed me compulsively tugging at my coat.

“You can come back when it’s time to eat,” I said quickly.

Rune’s gaze had always been intense, prying. Before, I’d secretly wanted him to stare straight through me—to see what no one else had, what no one else had bothered to try. But now, I wanted to hide.

Rune nodded and left without another word. I didn’t miss the brief flicker of pain. The pity. It made my skin crawl.

Luckily, it was easy to slip out of my skin entirely when Belise tended to my wounds. I stared into nothing, mumbling affirmatives whenever they were necessary. In my chest, a weight had amassed, an unshakable lump of grief and guilt that made it hard to swallow.

I wasn’t allowed to see nothingness inside my dissociated mindscape. I forced myself to see her—Rosalind—picking apart our every conversation, ending with her pink lips forming the word go.

She’d chosen to stay with the born because she was scared, because this world had been as cruel to her as it had been to me. And she’d changed her mind because she’d decided to trust me, to dream in my better tomorrow. I’d saved myself at her expense. Just like she’d originally feared.

“Hey,” Belise said, sitting cross-legged in front of me. His tanned face was as gentle as his touch, his dark eyes watching quiet tears fall down my cheeks. “Everything should be on the mend. I noticed some deeper bruising around your ribs. Are you in any pain?”

My vision refocused. “I don’t know.”

He nodded. “You can send for me if you start feeling any discomfort. I’m also trained in trauma integration and processing.”

I frowned and sat up an inch straighter. My muscles tightened.

“Just something to think about in the future,” he said, gracefully rising to his feet. His golden bracelets softly chimed against each other.

After a tentative knock, I hurried to pull the fur coat back over my body and fasten it tight. Snow and Rune entered, attendants behind them with platters of food.

When I stood, blood rushed to my head and inky splotches overwhelmed my vision. I faltered, and Rune was in front of me in a flash. He steadied me, and I felt dramatic and annoying. My brows furrowed and cheeks heated as I stared up at him.

“Don’t look at me like that, Little Flame,” Rune murmured. His lips curved. “You’re the one who can’t stand upright.”

Our little dance was familiar, comforting—my irritation, Rune’s cocky dominance. He removed his touch, and his smile grew as my glare deepened. I was angry for reasons I couldn’t consciously understand. But perhaps top of the list was his uncanny ability to understand exactly what I needed from him and when.

I’d missed him. In a way that couldn’t be expressed through language.

“Can I sleep soon?” I mumbled.

“After food,” Rune said.

He gently guided me to his personal dining table, where Snow was unboxing pastries and sandwiches from Marigold’s. I looked to the arched windows where the curtains were tied back. Lights twinkled outside, showing off the beauty of Aristelle.

“This is too much,” I said to them, eyeing the insane amount of food. “You know I’m only one person, right?”

I tried to smile, to show my gratitude, but I was waning fast. Belise’s healing magick had infected my tired muscles with soothing energy.

“You’ll need to eat tomorrow too,” Snow said. “Plus, Uriah makes sure no food goes to waste in this castle.” She made a face of disgust, but her lips soon quirked up.

Weird. I’d clearly missed some things. My heart squeezed, and I sat down at the table. I wasn’t hungry, but I also didn’t want to hurt Rune and Snow. And eating was the only way to sleep as soon as possible.

Snow sat across from me, and Rune sat next to me. Both of them pretended to eat, to avoid staring at me instead. Which was kind of them.

I forced down bites of everything, feeling guilty that I couldn’t taste or enjoy any of it. I’d stopped finding pleasure in food weeks ago. Durian had controlled everything I consumed. Every drop of water, every morsel of sustenance.

I still had his depraved scripts imprinted into my brain. My purpose had been to please him. I had no free will except the magick I’d used against him and his men. On my next bite of food, I looked to Rune, seeking that same approval and scanning for the threat of punishment.

And when his dark eyes locked on mine, I startled.

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