Page 57 of Taken By Touch and Torment

I clenched my fists and buried my yearning with all my unprocessed trauma. “I don’t know what to think,” I said honestly. “Why didn’t you come for me? After I killed those humans?”

Rosalind fumbled over her first words. She inhaled deeply. “You didn’t kill them, Scarlett. They did.”

A voice grew louder beyond the door, and we both froze until it faded again. We didn’t have much time before our absence set off alarms.

“But you were reckless,” she admitted. “And I have to look out for myself. It’s the only way people like us can survive in this world.”

I didn’t need to read her desires. I heard the genuine loneliness in her voice. Because it was my loneliness, the deep sorrow of a child singing to the indifferent cosmos.

“You don’t know what I’ve endured,” Rosalind said. “You don’t know what’s been done to me, over and over, until I figured out how to use my magick and carve out a place for myself in this world.”

I thought of Snow. I reached for Rosalind’s hand, and she tensed, just as I had once recoiled when shown acts of tenderness and warmth.

“I don’t think you’re like them,” I whispered. I closed my eyes, digging around for my own intuition, the only thing I had when I couldn’t read Rosalind’s psyche. “I’m resentful because while the slaves and I are trapped and brutalized, you are free.”

“I am not free,” Rosalind said harshly. Her hand slowly relaxed in mine, regaining her composure. “You were trying to help them. You were trying to help them, and you failed.”

I nodded before remembering she couldn’t see me. I slowly released her hand, brushing my thumb across her skin soothingly as I did. It wasn’t at all a natural move like it was for Snow or Penn, but Rosalind needed the comfort as much as I did.

“Yes. I have power, and they have none. I wanted my life to mean something.” I paused. I couldn’t influence Rosalind with magick. I only had my words, my actions. My hope, blinding and enduring no matter how much I’d been hurt. “Don’t you?”

She was silent for a three long exhales.

“It’s not that simple. You see the world in terms of good guys and bad guys, and there might be some truth to that. For mortals. But for you and me…” she trailed off, speaking impossibly quiet now. “The turned killed a succubus just last month.”

“She was a spy,” I countered.

“We are hated, Scarlett. By everyone who sees us for what we are. But at least to the born, we are useful. We share half their blood. They give us a chance if we can prove our value. I’m guessing the turned had no idea what you were, or you wouldn’t have made it within ten feet of Rune.”

We needed to wrap this up. My muscles were growing more and more tense the longer we were gone.

“They didn’t know before, but… they do now.” I needed Rosalind. I had to trust my instincts. “Rune knows what I am, and he still tried to rescue me from Durian.” I heard Rosalind shift slightly. “My friends know what I am too, and they still love me. They’re witches. I didn’t even know how to accept such warmth and care when I met them, but they showed me. And I miss them so badly my heart fucking aches. I miss it all. The beautiful streets of Lumina, Nyx, and River, my shitty little apartment, the freedom of every simple pleasure—choosing what I eat and what I wear, reading poetry, singing in the shower, sitting outside cafés watching people living and loving each other fiercely. I miss myself, most of all.”

A half-truth, because I missed Rune just as much.

“You could have it too,” I whispered. “You could be free of this place. Of them. You would be protected.”

The unspoken caveat—if you help me escape. If you help me get back to them.

“This is bigger than us,” I continued, trying not to sound as desperate as I felt. “I know it’s not simple. I know there’s nuance and complications. But only one side steals mortals, sometimes children, to serve as slaves. And the other side has done everything in their power to stop them. I want to use my magick to help those innocents, the mortals who deserve to taste that same freedom I miss dearly.”

Rosalind sucked in a deep breath. The air was heavy, my chest tight.

Finally, she spoke. “I will not be reckless and aimless, as you were the night they put you on the cross.”

My heart sunk.

In the dark, her hand brushed mine, ever-so-briefly.

“What do we need from the subby dignitary?”

25

SCARLETT

It was easy for Rosalind and me to seduce Kole, wrapping him snugly around our delicate fingers. The best seductions were about filling unmet desires, finding those gaping holes and positioning myself as the only thing in this world capable of fitting inside that void.

In the end, what we all wanted most was to feel whole.

---