Page 56 of Insta Bride

I chose my words carefully, not knowing whether the microphones would be able to pick up whole sentences over the motor and waves, but wanting to keep Elena and my secret a little longer.

“If you’re worried about me being—”

“I just,” she said, her voice breaking even though her shoulders were still stoic. I’d started to have hope that I’d gotten through. We had a chance, a real chance. Maybe. “I know that you are with a lot of women.”

“I’ve been with a lot of women,” I corrected. “Since coming on the show, I haven’t been with anyone but you.”

“Coming on the show, or signing up for the show?” Elena cocked one beautiful eyebrow. No, I hadn’t gotten off scott free, yet.

“Yeah, when we got to the island I flirted with the others. You saw that. I’m not gonna hide who I was.”

“Who you were, or who you are.”

Yes. I saw her jaw and shoulders soften. She leaned back against the side of the boat. Finally relaxing into the moment.

“Look, I never thought I’d find a woman who could put up with my shit, or a woman who could laugh harder with me than at me. We laugh.”

“Yeah, but most of the time, we’re fighting.”

“No, no,” I urged. “Think about it. If we were fighting it would be bitter or hateful. What we do is kind of like foreplay.”

Again, I gave her time to absorb. We had all day out here. Yes, the camera crew were heading towards us, but we had time to fix this.

“I guess, I’m saying that I don’t know what’s going to happen for the eliminations. We’re not the most loved up couple and I’m kind of okay with that. I’d rather something real that we can take into the outside world. We’re going to have a choice at some point and I want to be able to ask for your number. I want you to give me the real one. When I call you, I want you to pick up the phone and don’t ghost me. I want to have a chance in the outside world to see whether this is real or not.”

“I don’t want to date a liar. I don’t want to date a cheater and I don’t want to date an asshole.”

“Okay,” I sighed with relief. “I haven’t lied to you—even when it would have been in my best interests to lie. I haven’t cheated on you. Even though, I’m pretty sure the offers would be out there.”

“But—” she started before I raised my hand to continue.

“I pretty much am an asshole, so would one out of three be okay?”

“You are such an—” Elena started before squealing as I leaned over the side to cup and throw handfuls of water at her. Damn, I loved the sound of her giggles and laughter.

Deciding to go all in, I rocked the small boat until I got the screaming, “Yes, yes, yes, you are an asshole. I agree you’re an asshole.”

“But will you date me?” I rocked harder.

“Yes, yes, stop it, yes.”

“Will you fall in love with me?” I had to ask, assuming our microphones were now broadcasting our secrets to the world.

“No!”

“Fair enough. Again, two out of three aint bad.”

I’d thought the producers would have gotten enough footage from our fantasy dates and we’d have a reprieve from eliminations. No. Apparently, there hadn’t been enough chaos or screen-worthy fighting.

“Are you ready to play, This or That!” JP had to deliver the line seven times before he got the desired level of enthusiasm from the remaining five couples.

Screens were removed and we could see tables of glass fish-tanks. The first held about six inches of worms. The second had some sort of snakes, the third spiders. The fourth held two spinning wheels – one with the five remaining women’s faces, the other the five men.

“We will invite each couple to flip a coin. Heads, and the male will ask the questions, tails our lovely ladies will do the asking. These questions will let us know how well you know your partner under pressure conditions.”

I took a step towards Elena and tried to hold her hand. “We’ve got this,” I said, unconvinced. We’d spent most of our time fighting or teasing each other. I knew she loved dogs over cats, but I didn’t know her parents’ names. I knew she loved rugby league over football, but I only assumed she would support New South Wales in the State of Origin. I knew she loved board games and cards, but didn’t know if she preferred strategy or chance. All questions I was prepared to take our time getting to know.

“You may be wondering about our tables. Well, I did say the answers would be delivered under pressure. One wrong answer, and you get to spend five minutes with your hand in a tank of worms. Second wrong answer and it’s five minutes with the snakes. Do I need to go on?”

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