Page 96 of Curvy Quirky Omega

Cas wanted my attention but I couldn’t give it to him. Not right now. If I did…if I looked him in the eyes, he’d be able to see everything.

I took a deep breath and crossed the living room to the floor-to-ceiling windows instead, needing a minute to figure out why the fuck I was feeling so weird.

Too many things were fucking with my head over the last few weeks and I couldn’t catch my breath. It was all so…chaotic.

Gideon, Lucy, her heat – finding out she was a dominant omega, thinking she’d hurt herself when she found out who I was…then telling my mother I was leaving Valor before finding out about Dane and Melinda was all…

Too much.

I stared out the massive windows at the view of the building covered in neon, the lights bathing my living room in red and blue.

Sudden warmth at my back was the only thing that told me Cas had appeared out of nowhere like a ghost. He didn’t pull that trick often, but when he did, no one could sense him.

Not even me.

“I’m worried about you,” he told me, his deep voice quiet and almost gentle.

I’ve only ever heard him use that tone with Lucy, and now he was speaking to me like that? He must be really fucking worried, but as always… “You worry too much.”

“Maybe.” Cas set his hand on the back of my neck and some of the roaring thoughts in my head died. His hand was too hot to be comfortable, but I leaned back into it anyway.

Not for the first time, I wondered why those insane instincts of mine died when he did this shit. Maybe I was defective, because I was the only one who reacted like this.

“Talk,” Cas ordered. He didn’t use his alpha voice, but he didn’t give me any room to argue with him either.

I considered forcing him to make me, but I didn’t think that would work this time. I wasn’t feeling violent. I was feeling…depressed? Weird. I don’t think I’ve ever really felt like that, not even when the anniversary of another year went by without finding Lucy.

“I think I’m defective,” I admitted, sounding far calmer than I felt.

“Why do you think you’re defective?”

“Gideon couldn’t handle me being stronger than him…he couldn’t handle you being stronger than him.” I leaned into Cas even more until I felt his chest against my back. “But I don’t care if you’re stronger than me.”

“Because I’m not.” Cas leaned in then and I felt his lips brush against the back of my neck – so softly it didn’t even feel real. “Whether you realize it or not, no one is stronger than you Liam so you’ve never felt threatened.”

Was that really true? I didn’t think so. I just haven’t met anyone more powerful than me. That didn’t mean they weren’t out there.

“Even if you’re the strongest…” Cas sighed and my stomach clenched, nervous to hear whatever it was he was going to say next. “None of this was your fault.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.” I tried to push him away, but Cas was a stubborn bastard who was way too fucking strong for someone who wasn’t a legacy alpha.

Cas grabbed the back of my shirt and yanked me around, slamming me back against the window before I could stop him. The glass was bulletproof, but I didn’t think that would stop Cas if he was truly motivated.

“I’m not trying to make you feel better, you stupid asshole. I’m just telling you the truth.”

I stared down at his chest, knowing he meant well, but it didn’t matter. This was my fault. “The truth doesn’t change the fact that my brother is dead and if I’d paid more attention, I could have prevented it.”

A large hand slid through my hair and gripped tight, yanking down to force my chin up and I nearly lost what little sanity I had left. I growled a warning, ready for a fight, but he leaned down and kissed me instead.

I grabbed his shirt and shoved him back, but his grip on my hair was too tight. It pulled on my scalp hard enough I hissed in a breath and he took advantage, sliding his tongue into my mouth.

The taste of him was sharp – mostly moss and cedar. It scrambled my brain and made it impossible to get him the fuck off of me. My body relaxed against my will, pissing me off even more.

I didn’t want to be reassured or consoled. I wanted someone to tell me I fucked up. That I needed to be punished for letting things slide when I knew something was off. It had to be my fault or none of this made any fucking sense.

Cas slid his hand up my waist and under my shirt. His rough palm was too hot but the scratchy sensation made me shiver. I wanted to be closer to him even when I didn’t want anyone fucking touching me right now.

I should break the hand that was holding me like I belonged to him. I should crush his wrist so he couldn’t grip my hair this tight. I should gut him for shoving me against the wall like this, bathe in his blood to prove I was the strongest.

---