Page 135 of Curvy Quirky Omega

The silence in this room was absolute. There was no ticking of clocks or humming of electronics. I couldn’t hear the lights above me either which meant they didn’t use fluorescents. I couldn’t even hear the guards breathing.

All I could hear was my father’s deep, soothing breaths that sounded exactly the same as they had fifteen years ago. His face…there were some signs of aging, but not much. His hair didn’t have any grey in it either.

My father’s hair was still the same dark brown as mine was, and it was just as long. He even had it pulled back in a ponytail like I did. The only difference was his hair was pin-straight unlike the wavy curls I’d inherited from my mother. I’d straightened it today though, worried it might upset him to see anything that reminded him of my mom.

I wanted to reach up and pull on the ends of my ponytail, or pick at my nails, but I kept my hands in my lap and my back straight like that etiquette teacher had taught me. It felt like armor, or maybe a weapon – something I could use to make sure I wasn’t the one who ended up hurt today.

But it was so heavy it might just be the reason I drowned.

I glanced down at the aloe plant and knew he was aware of what it symbolized thanks to all the reports Francisco has gotten on him over the years. My father was allowed to have hobbies in a prison like this and one of them was taking care of all his plants.

He also had a cat named Seph – short for Persephone the guards said.

I reached out and pushed the aloe plant slightly closer to my father. It symbolized grief and affection as well as good health.

When I looked up, my father was still watching me and only me. His dark grey eyes held no emotion or even recognition just like the last time I’d sat across from in a place like this.

Maybe this was a waste of time, but it was something I needed to do. Something I wanted to do.

We stared at each other in silence for a long time and I felt each of his breaths as if they were my own until I was breathing in tandem with him just as I’d done as a child. It was still soothing and helped me calm down.

It should be weird that I didn’t feel nervous anymore. I should still be on my guard, but I wasn’t. For some reason, just breathing with him was enough.

My father didn’t have to talk. I didn’t really care about that since I didn’t have any questions for him anymore. There wasn’t anything he could tell me that I didn’t already know. I guess I could ask him why he’d let himself get caught, but…I knew he hadn’t done it on purpose.

Drowning made it impossible to see the bigger picture.

I reached up to touch the black bands around my neck to soothe myself as I stared down at the aloe plant as I started to talk. It was useless information, but I thought he might like to listen to someone else’s thoughts after being alone for so long.

Like a patient in a coma, he would still be able to hear me even if he couldn’t respond.

So, I told him everything. I told him about the boy I used to play with and how he had to leave. I told him about the axolotl I gave him and how I thought I’d never see him again. I explained what the boy had told me and how we had to say goodbye…

Then I skipped what he already knew and went on to tell him about what it was like living with my new family – how I thought I was defective…everything. I told him everything I’d done up to getting assigned the Valor case.

I don’t know why I stopped there, but I looked up from the aloe plant to see he was still watching me. His expression was flat and emotionless but the grey in his eyes seemed a little bit lighter.

For some reason, I felt like he wanted me to continue, but I hesitated and I don’t know why.

My plan was to tell him about my life and how the Valor case had gone, but looking at him now made me want to tell him something else – something I never intended to say to him.

“I understand,” I whispered, searching his eyes to see if he had any idea what I meant. “I understand why you did it.”

His eyes lightened just a fraction and I steeled myself.

“You’re probably wondering why I came here after all this time and I dunno, I just…wanted to.” I looked back down at the table and absentmindedly rubbed at the adhesive on my neck. “I also wanted to thank you for giving me all the tools I needed to survive, but I still feel angry and betrayed that you abandoned me. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive you for that.”

We both knew he could have made a case for self-defense and won, but I also knew he’d made the right choice even if it had cost me everything.

I would have been living in the spotlight before I had the resources to deal with it and I knew that was something I wouldn’t have survived back then.

“Despite that, I wanted you to know how I was doing and that I hadn’t forgotten everything you taught me…” I dropped my hand, feeling nervous all over again. I’d made sure not to cover my bond marks with the scent blockers, but I don’t think he’s noticed them yet.

I had to tell him everything. I don’t know why, but I did.

“I took what you said to heart,” I admitted. “So much so that I was sure I’d always be starving, but sometimes…sometimes we find someone who doesn’t begrudge us the sustenance we need to survive and their presence alone nourishes us.”

Looking up, I noticed his eyes were even lighter but there still wasn’t a drop of emotion in them. It didn’t feel like he was looking through me though, but into me. Like he could see everything.

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