Page 87 of Curvy Nerdy Omega

Anything.

I pressed her head to my chest and stared at nothing, wishing I could get her to understand. “I’m fucking terrified to lose you and I know I don’t deserve this, but I can’t let you go. Not again. You accomplished exactly what you set out to do and scared the living shit out of me but you have to know…you’ve always been the one with the power in this relationship, Lucy. Not me.”

How the fuck was I supposed to get her to understand? What would it take to make her realize she was the only person in the world who could get me to do anything to prove just how bad I had it? She’s always been the one who held my life in the palm of her hand.

One day, I sat with the weird girl at lunch and it had changed my fucking life. Everything I’d ever done since then was because of her. All of it. I’ve done unspeakable things just for the smallest hint of where she might be.

All this power I possessed was worthless without her.

I wanted that weirdo back. I wanted her to be mine. I wanted her to know just how far I was willing to go.

Maybe things would have been easier if we were both betas, but we weren’t. I would always be the alpha and she would be the omega. No one would ever see us as anything else and I knew she had issues with that.

With how they would perceive her.

To make all this fucking worse, I was a legacy alpha.

Her father had suffered because of his designation and Lucy had seen firsthand the kind of power an alpha had in a relationship. She knew how vulnerable it would make her to give in.

If I wanted any chance with her, I had to be the one to risk it all. I had to make her see how vulnerable I was willing to be because she just didn’t get it and everything I’ve done up until now clearly wasn’t enough.

Slowly releasing her, I dropped to one knee. And then the other. I sat back on my heels and let the knife drop to the floor, clattering against the hardwood. I forced my eyes down to her feet and placed my hands on my thighs.

“I know you want me to beg for your forgiveness, but I’m not sorry for the way I handled this. I am sorry it hurt you. I tried to find the least painful way possible, but it still hurt you and I fucking hate that.”

I took a deep breath and pressed my forehead to her thigh, needing to get it all out before she interrupted me or decided to just walk away.

“I am sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me most – that it took me so long to find you. I never should have let my mother ship me off to the academy…or maybe I should have just kidnapped you and brought you with me, I don’t know, but I promise I’ll never hide anything from you ever again. What I’m feeling. What I’m thinking. What I want. What I need. It’s all the same thing and it’s you.”

“Liam—”

“I don’t care how desperate I sound,” I insisted, hating that I had to interrupt her but she needed to understand. “I love you. I love you so fucking much I can’t even remember what it was like not to love you. You don’t even have to love me back, just don’t leave me.”

Her cool hand caressed my cheek and I leaned into her touch, ready to beg if I had to.

For once in my life I didn’t feel disgusted by the thought.

“Liam, look at me.”

Tipping my head up, I clenched my hands into fists so I wouldn’t reach for her and ruin everything.

“You didn’t trust me enough to tell me,” she whispered, voice thick with tears. “You made me feel like I was nothing. How am I supposed to forgive that?”

“You’re not nothing, Lucy. I’m the one who’s worthless. You’ve never needed me the way I needed you. Every time I was looking at you, you were all I could see. My whole world. I’m always starving for your attention. Desperate for you to let me be yours. You’re everything. Can’t you see? You’re the one who has all the power here. You have me on my knees, begging for the chance to keep all the promises I’ve ever made to you.”

“Jesus,” Cas muttered.

Her hand slipped away and I was too desperate to stop myself from grabbing it and holding it to my face so I could have this for just a little bit longer. “Lucy…I don’t care what other people might think. If this is what you need from me, I’ll kneel before you in front of the whole fucking world because I would rather die than have to watch you walk away from me one more time.”

Tears rimmed her eyes and she wasn’t looking at me like she wanted to kill me anymore. She looked just as wrecked as I felt.

“Was this what you wanted?” My voice cracked and my eyes burned as I stared up at her, hoping I knew my omega as well as I thought I did.

“You make it so fucking hard to hate you.” Her tears fell then, sparkling like diamonds before splashing against my face. “Why do you have to be so good at this? I’m still so angry with you.”

Lucy leaned down before I could say anything to that, kissing me like this might just be the last time she got to do it.

The taste of blood filled my mouth and it was almost as sweet as her scent.

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