Page 85 of Curvy Nerdy Omega

It was like acid in my veins – in my throat. I couldn’t swallow. I could barely fucking breathe with the burning sensation spreading through my chest. My hands were shaking as I yanked her shirt up, trying to find where she’d cut herself.

“Tell me where it is and I’ll forgive you. Just this once,” I muttered, patting her down to see if there was any blood seeping into her clothes.

“Where what is?” she shoved me hard and I stumbled back a few steps, surprised by her willingness to touch me more than her strength.

But this was my last chance and I couldn’t fuck it up. I couldn’t let one more scar damage her perfect skin when there was something I could do to stop it.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do,” I tried to explain, grabbing her arm and shoving the sleeve all the way up to see if she’d tried to do it somewhere else. “It’s just that I can’t fucking stand the smell right now.”

She shoved me again and this time I felt whatever tiny thread of humanity I was desperately holding on to snap. All the rage and hurt boiled over and the growling snarl that erupted from my chest worried me almost as much as the scent of her blood.

“Are you really going to tell me you didn’t take that knife in there to do this again?” I grabbed her throat and pressed my thumb into the old scars, baring my teeth at her so she’d fucking understand. “You’re going to stand here and tell me I shouldn’t be afraid? Can you hear how fucking crazy you make me? How desperate?”

I couldn’t stop myself from shaking her again, even knowing I could really hurt her – that my pheromones might just make her sick if I didn’t get my shit together, but the last few days had nearly killed me.

Watching her work on the case instead of looking for her missing treasures had seriously fucked with me.

I’d done everything I could to keep from losing it completely – to make sure she had the time and space she needed to realize her pheromones had nothing to do with how desperate I was to keep her in my life.

But this was my limit. I couldn’t hold all my crazy back anymore. I couldn’t pretend to be normal when my omega grabbed a knife and then hid herself away where we couldn’t see her.

My thoughts were so loud, screaming in my head, and I couldn’t keep them inside anymore.

“I can’t lose you. Not again. I refuse to lose you again, do you understand? I let you go even though it fucking killed me and now you want me to believe you weren’t going to do something insane after finding out I could have told you sooner and didn’t?” I grabbed her wrist and forced her to press the edge of the blade against my neck. “Whatever you were going to do, do it to me instead. There’s no way I could ever live without you so don’t make me find you covered in blood and wonder if you did it to yourself. Don’t ever disappear on me again.”

The pressure on the knife increased and the look on her face told me she planned to spill as much of my blood as she could.

The acid in my throat rose until it was all I could taste.

“Please,” I whispered. “You have to know—have to know just how fucking desperate I am. My life is yours to command…whatever you want—whatever it is, I’ll do it.”

I would do anything for her—anything she wanted me to do. Didn’t matter what it was. I’d cut out my own fucking heart if that meant she’d finally accept it. I’d bleed for her—make the world bleed for her.

I was made for her and she was made to be mine. I needed her so badly…it wasn’t healthy, but I didn’t care. Without her I was empty.

All I needed was a chance – one tiny chance.

“Whatever I want?” Lucy stepped closer, her grey eyes as dark as the storm clouds outside. “You forget Liam, I’m not a nice person. My father made sure of that and there is no way you could possibly understand what that means – what I want from you right now.”

“You drive me up the fucking wall,” I growled, yanking her close enough she could see the absolute insanity in my eyes. “You think I don’t know? How could I not?”

“If you knew then you would’ve fucking told me from day one!”

Holding her wrist tight enough to leave a bruise, I ripped the knife from her hand and shoved her away from me, not trusting myself when she was getting in my face like that. I wanted to devour her when she looked at me like she wanted to kill me and that was the last thing she needed right now.

“Tell me when I should have told you. Teach me, Lucy. I’ll admit I was wrong if you can explain to me how I was supposed to tell you when you were suddenly there, in front of me, right after I got dragged away by the police because someone tried to frame me for killing my brother.”

She glanced over at Cas and a growl of frustration escaped me. She needed to pay attention to me right now. Not him.

All the rage settled into my bones and it didn’t make me feel like I was going to vibrate out of my skin anymore. No, it was almost comforting and I felt a strange sense of calm.

Staring down at the blade, I studied the edge closely but the only blood I could smell from it was mine. “There were so many times I tried to tell you – when you were feeling better. That night at the restaurant. During your heat. When I had you strapped to that bloody chair in my basement but then you went into heat…tell me, would you have even believed me? Would you have believed that I didn’t have ulterior motives for telling you?”

Licking the edge of the blade, I didn’t taste a single drop of her blood.

A flash of hunger in her eyes when she studied the blade in my hand gave me a tiny sliver of hope there was still a chance we would find our way through this mess.

My eyes met hers and Lucy looked at me like I was nothing – like she could walk away at any moment.

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