PROLOGUE
KAOS
THREE YEARS AGO
Ididn’t know pain like this existed.
Perhaps I was naive to think I was above loss, that we all were, but watching as my father’s casket is lowered into the ground, I can’t imagine a more stifling pain than the one that’s settled into my chest over the last week.
The moment he took his final breath, the happy-go-lucky one of us died right along with him. I’m not sure who I am anymore, because I don’t know how to live without my dad by my side. It’s always been us against the world, always, and now that he’s gone, I don’t know how to go on.
A week ago, I would have leaned on Bianca, but just the thought of her name leaves a sick feeling in my stomach now.
She’s why we’re here, after all. It’s her fault my father is dead. Her fault our family has been torn apart.
Kovu warned me this would happen. Dad was the one who introduced her to us, and when we decided to pursue her, we did so with his blessing. He was never interested in sharing the way the rest of us were, but he was happy for us. He was glad we were with someone he approved of.
But maybe I should have listened to Kovu’s concerns about her.
He didn’t like her from the beginning. He thought there was something about her that didn’t fit with us, but the rest of us were too fucking blind.
I can’t even say it was love. Men like us don’t have a fucking clue what those four letters mean, and we’re not in the position to feel such emotions. But we were blinded by her pussy, by the way she so seamlessly fit into our world, knew when we needed her, and knew when we needed to be left alone. It was like she could read our fucking minds half the time.
A hand rests on my shoulder, but I don’t bother looking up. I know it’s Crew. He’s always hovering close by, waiting for a time when I’m going to want to talk about what happened. I just can’t see that happening anytime soon.
It hurts too much, and I’m desperate to shove it into a little box and never touch it again. I never want to care enough about anyone to ever feel this kind of pain again.
“You doing okay?” Crew finally asks. My uncle is almost a decade younger than my father was, but he’s always been the one to have his head screwed on. He’s the one that led us into our positions as the Syndicate of the Legion, the gatekeepers of the New York underworld. And he’ll be the one that pulls us through this, even if none of us will ever be the same again.
I shrug, unable to pull my gaze off the coffin.
There are hundreds of people here. People my dad probably never met. People he hated. People who are here for nothing more than appearances.
If I had it my way, it would just be the four of us.
Me.
Crew, my uncle.
Bishop, my cousin.
And Kovu, my brother in every way that counts.
But instead, I’m stuck playing nice with all these assholes who would kill us tomorrow if they had the chance.
“You can’t shut yourself off forever, Kaos. It’s not healthy.”
I finally drag my eyes off the coffin and move to meet his mismatched gaze. One green eye and one blue. His face is clean-shaven, his sharp jaw prominent, and his skin is more ashen than I’ve ever seen it before. None of us have slept since that night, and I can only assume their insomnia is for the same reason mine is.
Every time I close my eyes, all I see is Bianca kneeling beside his body, covered in his blood, as he bled out in front of our eyes.
“It’s easier this way,” I say quietly, my voice hoarse from barely speaking.
Before he can respond, I turn on my heel and head toward the car waiting for us.
Things will never be the same after today. But there’s one thing I know for sure.
I’ll never allow a woman to worm her way into our lives again.