Page 46 of Such A Bad Girl

After I left, the same thoughts kept spinning in my head. I examined the situation from every angle, trying to come up with a way to somehow change fate.

It had taken every ounce of strength not to fuck Everleigh.

And now, I was kicking myself for not doing it. We’d gotten that far, what would the difference be? I was sure the guilt would feel the same. In fact, I felt like the kiss we’d shared today was even more forbidden than sex would be.

And if West found out what was going on, he wouldn’t give a shit what base we’d gotten to.

He’d kill me just knowing I’d put one finger on his little sister. He’d said as much through the years, even if not in those exact words. In West’s eyes, nobody was going to be good enough for her. Rian had questioned him about it once, and he said he was holding out his approval for someone exceptional. Someone truly worthy.

He said he’d never met anyone he thought fit the bill.

By that time, we’d been best friends for years. So, I knew I was excluded. As I watched him slap down guy after guy that Everleigh became interested in, the desire to throw my hat in the ring became more hidden with every passing year.

Now, we were business partners. We’d built our club from the ground up. What kind of asshole would I be if I were the one to burn it all to the ground now?

For fuck’s sake.

I went home and immediately hopped in the cold shower, seeking an end to this relentless yearning. It didn’t work. Instead, I lay in bed with all the lights off in my empty Malibu house , plagued by the feel of her lips on mine, the smell and taste of her deliciously sweet pussy. But that wasn’t the only thing I was yearning for. The bubbling sound of her laughter, the way her eyes lit up, the way the corners of her mouth turned up when she smiled…Everleigh’s entire essence was haunting me.

I couldn’t sleep until after I’d taken care of myself, coming violently, her name dripping from my lips.

My voice was swallowed up by the sound of the crashing waves outside my bedroom window, and I was beyond grateful no one could hear me.

Chapter Twenty-Six

EVERLEIGH

I’d gotten part of what I wanted, that was for sure.

My knees still felt weak, hours after Theo had left me writhing and breathless on the couch in his office. I’d been so disappointed when he’d refused to go any further. And all because of West.

This was ridiculous. I was tempted just to tell West myself and let him deal with it. I was a grown-ass woman. Why was I letting my brother dictate my love life?

I stopped short at that thought.

Was it love I felt for Theo?

Hardly. It was lust, pure and simple.

Sure, I’d known him forever. Yes, he’d always been there for me. In fact, he’d been there for me in my darkest moment. He’d saved me, there was no doubt about that. I shuddered to think of what Avett would have done to me if Theo hadn’t shown up that night.

But he had.

And I was beyond grateful.

If West wasn’t in the picture, maybe that first kiss on that fateful night would have turned into something more. But things hadn’t gone that way.

Instead, we were tangled up in this mess of forbidden lust and…yes, maybe love.

It was hard to admit to myself.

I’d been dead set on getting my way – into Theo’s pants – but now that we’d gone farther, I knew the tender kiss we shared today had changed everything. It had brought forth all the feelings I’d been burying for years. All the times he’d teased me, or cracked some stupid joke, or come to my rescue when I needed him, they all rushed to the surface like a wave of memories that broke loose all the boards I’d used to lock away my heart.

No, this wasn’t just lust anymore. And that meant I needed to figure out exactly what to do about it.

I didn’t have many options. I hated that I had to consider my brother’s feelings in all of this. But Theo respected West, and I had to respect their friendship, as much as it pained me to let it get in the way.

There had to be a solution. There had to be a way where I could express my feelings for Theo, without blowing up our entire circle.

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