Page 22 of To Tame An Angel

Mother flinched, and she leaned back, her lips thinned. “The boys must be taken early because if they’re allowed to reach manhood, their strength will be too strong. We suffer too in this, make no mistake. No mother wants their child taken, knowing what his fate will be.”

I thought of my twin and his death. How he and I shared a womb, cuddled against one another, sharing warmth and nutrition. I wondered if I held his little hand and whispered secrets to him, never knowing that the moment of our birth would be the last moment I would spend with him and his sweet face.

“Grandmother said I was different because of my brother,” I admitted.

The harshness that took over mother’s face was not lost on me. “I don’t wish to speak of that.”

“Did you hold him?” The words tumbled from my mouth. “Did you at least hold him? Or was he born dead? I wish to know; I need to know. I think about him all the time.”

Mother swallowed, but to her credit, she held my gaze. “I held him. We was born alive.”

She’d never confessed so much and I wanted to cry. A relief. He’d been held and loved, even for a few minutes. A part of me was glad he died. Glad he didn’t end up traumatized like Tannor, never accepting kindness, never believing someone could care for him. We would’ve lived five years together, holding hands and sharing secrets only for him to be taken and never be seen again.

“Was he sweet?” My voice was a fraction of what it usually was.

Mother was quiet for a long time, her throat moving and her eyes softening. “He was the sweetest baby I ever beheld. He had so much hair —” and her voice was lost in silence.

It was difficult to see mother as loving, when so often she was hard. I saw now that it was her way of coping with her loss. I saw she didn’t wish me to suffer as she’d suffered. Though her words denied it, she loved father. I knew in my heart she did. She didn’t wish me to care for the men because she’d once cared with all her heart, but now all that left was a withered woman who forged her curved edges and polished them to stone.

She sniffed with suddenness and stood, sharp as an arrow nocked in a bow. “This is why I worry about you. I worry you’ve taken on too much, which is why I’m here today. I’m taking this man from you. Your sister was right, and I made a mistake believing you could be the cruel taskmaster such a man needs. We’ll find you someone easier, with a mild temperament that would be better suited.”

I stood up with my heart at my throat. “No!”

The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. The thought of Tannor being dragged out of this place I now call home and away from me, after all my promises and assurances, made me feel nauseous.

Mother reeled on me with wide, stunned eyes.

I noticed my mistake and realized that if I wished to keep Tannor with me, if I wished to save him from my mother’s dungeons, I needed to act fast.

“I have a plan,” I blurted, licking my lips and scrambling for an explanation. “He’s grown to trust me; he’s opening around me. It’s exactly what I wish. By tomorrow, he’ll be fully healed and he’ll fall into the false notion that I am nothing but kindness and sweetness.” I walked closer to mother, providing her with a mischievous smile. “And just when he believes me open to his charms… I’ll break him.”

My last words are low and dark, my hope rides on them.

Mother slowly looked me over; sniffing lies and deceit. She’d had her share of liars and lies. How many men passed through her hands and desperately wished to fool her into feelings? She was an expert at mind games. She knew how to make it hurt without inflicting one wound. She raised us as such, and I know all the lessons. After all, the games have been played against us many a time.

She walked to me and slowly clutched my chin, pulling me to her. Her skin was ice and her eyes were dead.

“You have five days, daughter. If he’s not broken in five days, broken enough to convince me, I will personally remove his wings and make you watch,” she said in a low tone. “You are my daughter, and daughters of generals cannot afford weaknesses. Especially cock-shaped ones.”

Life drenched me with cold water. It washed away all my dreams and hopes and I felt the inexplicable need to run away. Far away. To remove his wings would be to kill him. No man has survived the punishment of wing-removal. The punishment reserved for the worst offenders; rapists and killers. I saw it once, when I was little. It was brutal in a way I couldn’t even understand brutality. A serrated saw cut through the bone of the wing. It wasn’t a quick process. It was gruesome. The man was chained with golden links, unbreakable even under their enormous strength. Most men pass out, their bodies convulsing under the agony. Words don’t even leave their mouths because it’s pain beyond sound.

To think of Tannor undergoing the procedure left me lightheaded, desperate to center myself in something.

“Understood,” I whispered.

She nodded and let go of me. Without a backward glance, she was gone.

CHAPTER TEN

NALLA

Composing myself after mother’s visit takes an hour. I need space to think, to plan, and despair. I felt as if all my hopes were dashed. Afterwards, I wished I’d stood up to mother and had the same strength and power I felt whenever I handled Tannor. Why was it different? Why do I crumble before her? She frightens me so much that I feel I’m nothing but a small girl instead of a warrior and dominating mistress.

Before I returned to Tannor, I changed my clothing. To save him and myself from pain, I need to put away the soft gowns and don my armor. The servants strap me into my suit, cinching it at the waist until I’m encased in black leather. Usually reserved for fighting and training, today it’ll be used for more domestic pursuits.

The meek young man who brings the food informs me that my angel has been provided dinner and he’d drank the last of his medicine. A soft curl of tenderness encircles my belly at his obedience, but I pushed it down. No. He drank it because I said he must. He obeyed. That’s the way it is. That’s the way it must be. I braced myself for his hate, for it will surely come.

When I entered, I found him standing. I caught him at mid-pace. He wore trousers and nothing else. Instantly, he walked to me before he paused, taking in my attire.

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