Page 36 of To Tame An Angel

There was a deep honesty to his voice. It even changed the tonality of it. There’s also annoyance and frustration. I considered his words as I slowly wrapped the cloth around his leg. He bent his knee to allow me access as I ensured his left thigh was nicely salved and bandaged.

“Are you angry because I do it, or are you angry because you’re enjoying it?” I moved to his other leg.

He stared at me but didn’t answer. His silence spoke volumes, and we both knew what it meant. Especially when he continued caressing my arm. It felt a lot like a thank you.

After I finished, I stood to and took my kit. He remained on the bed as I grabbed the food and brought it to the bed, placing it between us.

“Maybe we do it because some of us like to be taken care of.” I met his eyes. He blinked and his lips parted. “And some of enjoy taking care of others.”

I didn’t look at him when I said it because it made me feel exposed. It’s the way I’ve always felt since I wasn’t able to take care of my brother and he died. Or the way I would take care of Rynn when she was little, to protect her and ensure she was happy. I loved being a big sister far more than being the youngest.

With his eyes etched on me and my words lodged in my throat, I placed a small meat pie on a plate and handed it to him. Tentatively, he took it and slowly took a bite. He continued staring at me. This time, his anger and confusion were gone.

“I almost died in the pits when I was ten,” he murmured.

I’m not sure if the words are for me, but I silently bite into a potato and watched the haunting of his face.

“My arm broke. That’s usually a death knell in there. They placed me in a separate area where I was alone for days. My arm eventually healed, but the first three days I kept wishing and praying that someone would come to take care of me. But no one came. That’s when I realized that no one truly cared about me. That I could die and the world would continue. Not a tear would be shed, not a heart would be broken. I was truly alone. And unwanted.”

The heaviness of his implications fell around us. It was the first layer he’d peeled, and I didn’t know what to do with it. It laid on my lap and felt like his heart sat there, mingled with my skin. Like it was my responsibility and became such a monumental importance that I could scarcely hold it between my fingers.

When he finished his meat pie, he took another, but he paused and touched his swathed thigh.

“You tie good bandages,” he said.

It was the nicest thing he’d ever said to me, and I looked at him. He turned and stared at his pie. Because I was overwhelmed and because he’d said such things, I leaned sideways and kissed his bandage.

When I dared looking at him, he swallowed.

The tenderness I felt sent a warning through me. This was too intimate. Too much like something forbidden. But it felt so good that I grappled with how something that felt so delightful could be so terrible. But no one needed to know. What happened in this room was sacred. I wasn’t certain that many women loved their angel-men, but I was sure many protected them and cherished tender moments like this. Perhaps with their children nestled between them. But it was all done in secret. To keep everyone safe.

“Do you like card games?” I asked suddenly.

He blinked, confused. “I… I’ve never played any.”

I grabbed a boiled egg before jumping off the bed. He sat up, watching me. I scrambled to my baskets and fished the box of my favorite game. It’d been years since I played it, but I always loved the stenciled illustrations on the cards. I stuffed the egg in my mouth and chewed as I walked back to him.

He was battling a smile at my antics. Like a true smile. Of amusement.

“It’s called Magic Elk,” I said through the egg.

The corner of his mouth rises a little more.

I set the cards down on the tray and he grabbed the last of the meat pies, then paused and offered it to me. I shook my head.

“I don’t like beef,” I said and sat pressed against his legs.

“Really? Not a meat lover then?”

There was a tease to his tone and his eyes turned the palest blue as he bit into it. Playfully, I shoved his leg and grabbed the cards. He was fully smiling by then and I was struck by how lovely he was when he smiled. There was a whisper of a dimple on his left cheek and I become a little fascinated by it.

“Shuffle,” I stated, offering him the cards.

He took them, but his smile dropped and confusion settled in. “What is a shuffle?”

“What?” I laughed.

Now it was his turn to stare at me. I took the cards and tapped them on the tray, showing him how to shuffle the deck. He didn’t even look at the cards.

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