Page 37 of Finn

I turn and find him leaning against the island with the bowl of fruit and yogurt in his hands and his legs crossed as he shovels a spoonful into his mouth. What is it about this man looking so casual and at ease while he eats his breakfast that’s an absolute turn-on? I’m used to seeing him as the boss, commanding his employees or grappling with Enzo. This relaxed version of him eating fruit and yogurt as I sip my coffee on the other side of the kitchen is new to me. It strikes me that though we work out together and have been married for a full month, this is the first time I've seen him up close and personal without a shirt. There was the night at the fights, but I was so blinded by rage I didn’t have the chance to appreciate the exquisite physique of my husband. In the gym, he wears a rash guard. The only time we’d run into each other before we started our workouts, he was on the way to or from the casino or wherever he was spending his time away from the house, dressed in his usual attire of a suit without a tie.

“What made you get a tattoo there?” I ask, pointing to the Celtic trinity knot inked over his heart, trying to make it seem as though the reason I’m studying the hard planes of his chest and defined abs is that I’m admiring his tattoo.

His smirk is a dead giveaway. He knows that’s not what had my attention captivated for so long.

“Lost a bet.”

“Really?” It’s not uncommon for anyone to have tattoos these days. Honestly, I’m surprised he doesn’t have more.

“No, not really. My brother has the same one. Though I was quite drunk when I got it.” Finn chuckles at the memory.

“Why don’t you have more?”

“I never thought of anything I’d want inked into my skin for the rest of my life.”

“Too much of a commitment?”

He doesn’t answer. And I’m not actually referring to tattoos either. Nothing I’ve heard about the man would indicate he’s interested in any sort of commitment, tattoos or otherwise.

“What does it mean?”

“The Celtic knot?” he asks, and I nod. “There’re different meanings for different people. I like the idea of it representing the idea of past, present and future. I honor my past, live in the present, and am always looking toward the future. Or something along those lines. Like I said, there was a lot of whiskey involved.”

A laugh escapes him before he shakes his head a bit, clearing his thoughts. “I’ll be down in ten minutes for our run.”

I nod in his direction and finish my coffee. “I’ll meet you at the door.”

Finn stares at me like he wants to say something but doesn’t know how.

“The commitment comment…I want you to know it’s not that I’m opposed. I’ve just never had anything I wanted to keep forever.” So he picked up on the innuendo of my question. Nice to know my husband is as smart as people give him credit for.

He looks down at his bare feet and nods, signaling he’s said all he has to say on the matter. “See you in ten.”

Finn turns and leaves the kitchen, leaving me to completely overthink everything.

When we step outside into the chilly spring air, I’m no closer to figuring out what he was talking about in the kitchen. Did he not have any intention of staying in this marriage forever? I suppose if he wanted a divorce, there’s no stopping him. Once his own organization is strong enough and the rival families have been taken care of, he won’t need my father. Therefore, he won’t need to stay married. We’ve both made it clear this marriage is no more than a business arrangement.

We finish stretching and begin a light jog over a well-used path.

“Let’s loop around the property and down to the river then back. It’s about a three-mile run,” Finn says.

“Easy.” I concentrate on my breathing, enjoying the scenery. “I had no idea how beautiful it is out here.” I take in the giant oak trees along the path, full of green leaves now that spring is finally here.

“You should join me on runs more often,” he replies.

“Maybe if you invited me, I would.” Okay, so maybe not in the beginning, but in the last week since that fight night, I would have jumped at the chance to get to know him a bit better.

Finn is silent for a few moments. “I’m sorry. I’m not used to someone living with me. When my brother or Cillian are here, they’re just sort of always there. It wasn’t intentional to make you feel unwelcome.”

“I never said you made me feel that way.” Not entirely, at least.

He raises his brows in my direction but doesn’t argue as we continue our run.

“Okay, I didn’t necessarily feel at home these last couple weeks, but that’s hardly your fault.” I can accept that I could’ve made more of an effort, even if it pains me.

“I told you to redecorate.” And we’re back to that. It’s infuriating that a man would assume because I’m a woman, shopping would be the way to my heart.

“Telling me I have an unlimited budget so I can shop until my little heart's content isn’t exactly the way to make me feel at home.”

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