Page 46 of I’d Never Date my Best Friend…Again

“Are oleanders more poisonous than poison ivy?” One of the kids asks Liam, and my heart skips a beat at the smile that crosses his lips.

“Great question. I wouldn’t say one is more poisonous than the other, but…”

My attention wanders as I watch Liam’s mouth move. I’m completely mesmerized by the way he looks as he speaks to the child. His face is soft and open, with a gentle smile on his lips. His tone is easy and kind. I feel my chest tighten, and my stomach drop as I realize how much he still loves kids.

When we were younger, Liam always wanted to be a father. We used to talk about it endlessly. I feel my lips curve up as I remember those days. He wanted to have kids early, and he would tell me all the things that he would do with them.

Liam and I were barely eighteen, and yet he knew what he wanted. Most importantly, I knew that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. We may have been kids, but we knew that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.

Until he joined the Army.

Suddenly, I feel pressure at the back of my eyes, and I swallow hard at the lump in my throat. This is not the time to cry, not when I have twenty sets of eyes that could glance over in my direction at any time. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned about kids, it’s that they’re extremely perceptive. Any sight of tears, and they’ll be on me like sharks.

I take in a deep breath and slowly exhale, keeping my attention on Liam’s face instead of the past. Our conversation from earlier comes back to me, and I work to be in the present. The past is the past, and we can’t change it. I look away from Liam and catch Janet’s eyes. She has been throwing me occasional glances. I wonder what could be on her mind. I give her a smile, and she smiles back at me before looking away and refocusing her attention on Liam.

“Janet?” Liam calls the little girl as if he has noticed her attention wandering. “Are you okay? Do you need me to repeat what I’ve said?”

Janet nods nervously. “Sorry,” she says in a small voice. “I wasn’t paying attention.”

“It’s okay.” Liam smiles. “Here’s what I said…” He repeats his words, and the tears burn the back of my eyes again. My heart races to burst from its confinement at the gentleness and ease with which he interacts with the kids.

I feel my heart expand and a silly grin spread across my face. I quickly press my lips together, and work to hide the emotions threatening to over take me. I can’t risk the truce that Liam and I have recently forged. He has made it clear to me that he doesn’t feel like he’s in a place to start a relationship. I need to keep my feelings to myself while I let him figure out what he wants for himself.

I just pray the life he wants is the one we dreamed of together.

The Liam I knew and loved is not the man in front of me today. My Liam was an open book that I could read with ease. This one has blank pages and the text isn’t accessible to me. I have to play my hand right and let him be the one to make any decision to move faster. With each little interaction, I feel him opening up to me, and the truth is I want all of him. Now.

I am not a patient person by nature, but if the prize for being patient is Liam, then I’ll learn to be patient and let him dictate our pace. Having a proper plan calms my racing thoughts, and I bring myself back to the present again for the umpteenth time. So much for giving Patrick any feedback on how the lecture went. My entire time was spent daydreaming about the instructor.

“Penny?” I jump in my seat as Liam’s voice penetrates my bubble, and I hear the kids laugh at me. I laugh with them.

“Yeah?”

“Is there anything you want to say to them before we break for lunch?” Perhaps I’m imagining it, but I swear he looks at me like I’m the sun. No, no, I must still be caught in my daydream. “I’m finished and thought maybe you’d have something you want to add.”

The kids stir at the mention of lunch break, and I contemplate staying silent and letting the class end. Especially since I wasn’t following the lecture. But at the expectation in Liam’s gaze, I find myself shuffling forward, racking my brain for a general tip that will flow with what I caught in Liam’s lesson.

When I stand next to Liam, he gently touches my waist as he steps aside, and the simple contact sends a shock signal through my body. That charge has words flowing from my lips effortlessly.

“It was so much fun to spend time with you today and learn from Liam. As I said, he is a great teacher.” I look in his direction and smile. “The fun really begins when you take what you’ve learned and apply it to the real world. Once you’re in the forest, you’ll get to see the plants for yourselves, and it will be so much fun. Maybe—”

“Will you come with us?” A voice from the crowd asks.

“Probably not.”

They groan in unison, and someone else asks, “But why not?”

“Because I was only visiting today and have my own job.”

“Where do you work?”

“At the town library. I’m a librarian.”

The kids are about to continue with their litany of questions when I am literally saved by the bell. With an excited shout, they disperse, leaving me and Liam alone. He turns to me, a crooked smile on his face. “Were you bored?”

“Are you kidding?” My eyes widen, and I reply with a smile. “You were amazing. This was definitely more interesting than sitting in the library, and I love the library.”

My breath catches as Liam tucks a strand of hair behind my left ear, oblivious to how that simple action lights up my nerves.

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