Page 14 of I’d Never Date my Best Friend…Again

My mom leads me to Stacy’s car, and we all get in. Thankfully, they don’t ask me any questions.

When we arrive I start to head to my truck.

“Penny, maybe you should stay here tonight.”

“Mom, I’ll be fine,” I assure her. “You heard the doctor. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

I walk to my truck, eager to escape them and their open stares. Just as I reach my vehicle, I turn to my mother.

“What about Andrew?” I ask.

“Andrew left,” my mother says. “After confirming you weren’t showing up, he left. No one knows where he is at the moment.”

Pain rushes through me again, and I nod, climbing into my truck and starting the engine. Tears fall down my face, and I roll the window up so they won’t see me break down. As I drive home, all I can feel is regret. I am very sorry for all the pain I’ve caused today. I wish things didn’t happen this way.

After staying home for two days without human contact, I finally decided it was time for me to show my face to the world. I’ve had enough of hiding. Going out will do me good. I’ve missed my daily dose of coffee and not had anyone to talk to. I’ve spoken on the phone with my mom and sister twice since I left the hospital, but that’s about it.

I walk to the closet and pick a simple dress that reflects my mood. Usually, I am all about colorful, floral dresses, but I don’t want colors today. The last thing I want is to stand out, so I choose the darkest dress and pair it with casual black flats.

As I leave the house, I contemplate driving but change my mind and walk. It’s a beautiful day, and walking helps me relieve stress and calm my mind. After all, Espresso Yourself isn’t far from my house. Before leaving, I stop at my truck and grab my dark sunglasses.

The sun heats my face, thawing the chill that’s been with me since my wedding day. With every step I take toward the coffee shop, the distress and sadness peel away until I feel the heaviness I’ve been carrying lift just a little.

I stop before Espresso Yourself, take a deep breath, and try to center myself. Walking in and coming face-to-face with the entire town is a bit overwhelming. When I walk in, the usual sounds of the frother and muffled conversations surround me but it stops abruptly when everyone sees me. They turn to look at me, and I feel shame overcome me. I am grateful for my sunglasses so people can’t see my eyes. I walk to the counter and place my order, mindful of everyone’s eyes on me. My face burns, and I struggle to maintain a neutral expression until I reach the counter.

“Hi.” I smile at Marcy behind the counter.

“Hello, Penny. What can I get for you today?”

“I’d like a mocha. With chocolate powder.”

“Okay. Coming right up.” She walks back to prepare my order while I stay in place. I look forward, trying to avoid the stares of everyone around me.

I am considering getting my order to go, but I realize this will not get any easier. I ran from my wedding and left Andrew at the altar. People are going to talk until something else grabs their attention.

“Here’s your coffee, Penny.” Marcy appears with my steaming cup of coffee.

“Thank you.” I take the cup, pay for the order, and turn to find a chair. I see one near the window, tucked in a corner away from all the stares. On my way, I take deep breaths and offer a wobbly smile to the faces I recognize. I sit and immediately feel relief that I’m out of the spotlight. I can still feel the weight of people looking at me and hear their whispers. I am glad I chose not to leave.

I hold my coffee in both hands and inhale. The scent wafts up my nostrils, releasing dopamine into my brain. A smile crosses my face for the first time in days.

“I’m glad to see you smiling,” someone says, and I whip my head toward the voice, relieved to see Evelyn O’Connell, Liam’s older sister. She’s one of the kindest women I’ve ever met, and if there is anyone I’d invite to my table on a day like this, it would be her.

“Evie.” I rise to hug her. “Good coffee does that to me.”

She chuckles and nods. “You’re so right. May I sit with you for a moment?”

“I’d love that,” I sigh, gesture to the opposite chair, and sit when she does. “I’m glad for the company.”

“I’m here to see Stacy.” Evie smiles, and I take another sip of my mocha.“But on my way in, I saw you and decided to come say hi.”

“Thank you, Evie.”

“It’s hard, isn’t it?”

The question hits me right in the gut, and I know exactly what Evelyn is talking about. Her expression has no judgment, but I’m judging me enough for both of us.

“Yes.” I nod and lower my eyes to my cup. “It is hard.”

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