Page 19 of One Night Rendezvous

The breath rushes out of him, and I realize that my own heart is pounding in my chest.

She turns to look at me. “And you’ve been a wonderful influence for her, Ashley. Felicity is very fond of you … she looks up to you and sees you as sort of an aspirational figure.”

“Oh, god, I really hope not. There’s nothing aspirational about my life.”

Ava’s expression is a little sad. “Isn’t there? You’ve had some setbacks, I know. But you’re kind. You make time for a little girl who is no relation to you at all. There’s something to be said for all of that … Now—bear in mind—you do need to be cautious about the level of attachment you allow to develop. Felicity feels the absence of her mother greatly. Despite all the trauma her mother caused for her, there is still love there, even if it is strongly intertwined with fear.”

Praise and caution neatly packaged together. Where the hell was someone like Ava Stanfield when I was a kid?

It’s a lot to think about. A lot to take on. I’m not ready to be anyone’s permanent anything. Wife, lover, friend … mother. Stepmom. Bonus mom. What the fuck ever anyone wants to call it. And it’s not like Ford has asked me to be any of those things to him or Felicity. We’re friends. We’re neighbors. We’re temporary. I need to remember that and so does he.

SIXTEEN

Ford

"Thank you again for coming." I tell Ashley as we ride back to Dixie Plaza. Felicity is staying with Mabel until we get back. I didn't want her to hear in case I was going to be told how shitty of a job I'm doing. "You didn't have to, and I appreciate you letting me count on you for this. Fee too."

"It's no problem." She runs her hands down her jeans.

But there's something different about the Ashley sitting in the seat next to me going home, than the one who went with me to the school. "What happened in there?" I jerk my thumb back toward where we just came from.

She shakes her head. "Ford, what are we doing?"

"What do you mean?" I'm dumbfounded, and have no idea what she's talking about. "We just went and met with my daughter's counselor. What the fuck do you think we just did?"

"That's not what I mean." She looks out the window, completely avoiding my gaze. "We both know that this isn't forever, it's temporary and I don't want Felicity to get too attached."

"Oh my fucking God. This is about what that woman said? I think I know my daughter to know what she can handle." I bang my hand against the steering wheel. "You're one of the only constant things in her life, and now you're going to run scared?"

The set of her jaw hardens. "You don't get to tell me what I'm running from, and me being one of the only constant things in her life is the problem, Ford. You and I both know that this doesn't end in a happily ever after."

"I don't even know what the fuck that means, Ashley. No one in my life has ever been happy with someone for the long haul. I'm not putting restrictions on us. All I wanted to do was have fun, and let my daughter experience what a real family is like ..." My voice is hoarse, and full of way more emotion than I mean for it to be. As we pull up to the convenience store, I park next to her car. "But ya know what? Forget it. If one little comment has you this worried, I can only imagine what happens when she does love you. When I might need you for something more than a booty call. Go ahead and cut those ties before they're double-knotted."

She swallows so loud it makes it to my ears. "Ford ..."

"No." I hold up my hand to stop her. "You don't owe me a damn thing. Thank you for what you've done. You're free. Take the info I gave you about Doogie and do what you want with it. Just leave my name out of your mouth. If you see Fee, don't encourage her."

We sit there looking at one another for far too long. I'm afraid she can see every emotion in my eyes, that she knows how much this hurts. How I've come to count on her. I want her to say something, but she doesn't. All she does is mash her lips into a straight line, and she gets out of my SUV. Going along with her is a piece of myself that I'd opened up, even when I knew I shouldn't.

I'm working on Doogie's car, even though I don't want to. I need the money more than I can take a stance on whether or not what he's done is legal or illegal. I've been coming in early, and staying late trying to get it done, and avoiding Ashley.

"You almost done with my ride?"

Fuck his voice gets on my damn nerves. "It'll be a couple more days. I needed two more parts and obviously I can't go down to Auto Zone and place an order."

He leans against the front fender, crossing his arms over his chest. "How's my daughter doing?"

"You should probably ask her that question yourself."

An annoying as fuck chuckle comes out of his throat. "You know I'm on her no habla list right now."

"Just say she won't speak to you in any language, dumbass. You're an embarrassment all the way around."

He glares at me, seeming to take offense to my calling him out. "I'm paying you, maybe you should remember that."

"Oh, I know, and Ashley is her own woman. She can choose not to speak to you, just like she's chosen not to speak with me lately. Either way, that's her choice. You'd be good to remember that, Doogie. You can't force her to be your daughter."

His eyes see way too much. Eyes that are so much like hers stare back at me. I can imagine in his younger days, he was a looker. He probably only had to snap his fingers to get a woman to come home with him, but that's changed. He's no longer good looking, he's had a hard life and it's wearing right there on his face. "She should be appreciative. I've kept her out of jail."

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