Page 85 of Recklessly, Wildly Yours

No lies.

No fucking games.

Those were the things Ethan told me are important to him, and they are to me too. Asking him a simple question is my right as his girlfriend. And fuck Tucker for making me think it wasn’t a right I had.

“Who’s Melanie?”

Ethan’s a smart, intuitive man, and he quickly connects the dots. “She’s a friend I’ve known for about five years. No benefits. We met through Callan who worked with her for a while. She’s been living in Hong Kong for two years. I imagine her text is either telling me she’s coming back to the States and wants to catch up, or that she’s finally divorcing her dickhead husband.”

“Fuck,” I breathe, my legs feeling wobbly even though I’m not standing. “I’m sorry for asking that.”

His eyes remain fixed to mine. “You have nothing to apologize for. That was a reasonable question to ask a guy you’ve been dating for seven weeks. And I’m glad you asked it because not asking that kind of stuff is what leads to games and bullshit.”

“I know you’re right. I think I just have some work to do after Tucker, you know?”

His eyes are so intense right now. “I’ve dated five women and slept with two others. I told you I hate one-night stands and I meant it. Sex is meaningless to me without the connection.” He leans forward. “This”—he motions a finger back and forth between us—“is what turns me on. Sitting here telling you about a conference I feel privileged to be invited to while we discuss what we want to eat together for lunch. Knowing I’ll see you at my parents’ place tonight where at least one of my brothers is sure to piss me off while you make that bearable. Knowing I’ll get to sleep next to you tonight. I fucking love sex, but this is what I love more. And Miller?”

“Yeah?” I manage to croak out, all up in my feels over what he just said.

“I hadn’t had sex for fifteen months before you. I was trying not to fuck you that first time because I wanted to wait for you to be ready for me. And I would have waited because this connection we have is something I’ve never had with anyone.”

If I could crawl across the table and curl up on his lap, I would. I’d sit there and try to untangle all my thoughts and all my feelings, and I’d tell him every single one. I’d maybe even tell him I love him. Because I do. This man has practically removed my heart from my body and taken ownership of it.

Since I can’t crawl across this table, and since I don’t know that either of us are ready for the “L” word yet, I say, “Thank you for telling me all of that.” I’m interrupted by the waitress bringing us our meals. Once she’s finished delivering them, I find his eyes again. “I’ve never had a connection like ours either.”

“I have nothing to hide from you, Maddie.”

I reach for his hand, needing his touch. “I know this. I just had a moment.”

He watches me for another few moments before appearing settled over this. Then, eyeing my plate, he leans across to steal some of my chicken. “Tell me about your morning. Did you finish that song you were working on?”

Ethan’s right: this is what turns me on too. Having a man’s heart in this way.

29

Madeline

A Black family party is rowdy. Having five brothers in the one place ensures this, I guess, but still, it’s loud and they’re rambunctious. It doesn’t help that there are twenty six-year-olds in attendance too.

It’s Luna’s birthday today, and all family members have taken the mid-week afternoon off work for the party, which I think says a lot about the Blacks.

“Thoughts and feelings?” Olivia asks, coming to stand next to me while I watch Gage and Callan try to wrangle the six-year-olds into some kind of order that will allow them to take part in karaoke. Ethan’s photographing all the fun. Bradford’s in charge of the food with Kristen. Hayden’s busy taking care of one of the little boys who scraped his knee. Ingrid and Edmund are finishing the set-up for the karaoke. And Shayla, Luna’s mother, is currently on her phone. Her fiancé is nowhere in sight.

I glance at Olivia. “I have way too many to narrow them down.”

She laughs. “Give me the first that comes to mind.”

“Are all the Black parties this boisterous?”

“Honestly, this is nothing. Wait till there are no kids around.” Her brows arch. “That’s when it gets really boisterous.”

“Wow. I can’t even imagine it.”

“Surely you had some wild parties down there in Nashville.”

“I never really had anything to do with them. And now that I know my ex was cheating on me the entire time, I know why I never got invited.”

Olivia blinks. “He didn’t invite you? At all?”

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