Page 43 of Recklessly, Wildly Yours

I lift my chin at her. “Come on, let’s get you back to the hotel.” And out of this moment, because if she continues looking at me the way she is, fuck knows what I’ll do with it.

16

Madeline

Ethan has been avoiding me since we arrived back at our hotel room. First, he said he had to go down to his car to get something. When he returned, with nothing in his hands, he said he had to step out to make a call. Which let’s be real; it’s late, so I don’t believe that was true. Five minutes after coming back from that, he was hungry and went in search of something to eat.

I mean, it’s after midnight. We ate just a few hours ago. No one’s hungry, Black.

I think he’s avoiding whatever it is that’s happening between us. Because something is happening.

I’m confused by his actions. He’s been flirty with me over the last couple days. I’ve been flirty with him tonight. We have a hotel room together. What’s a little sex between consenting adults? Why is he doing everything in his power not to go there with me?

It’s while he’s out trying to find food (that I don’t think he really wants) when I ask myself that last question and my thoughts come to a thudding stop. Oh god, maybe I’ve misinterpreted his actions. Maybe he wasn’t flirting, but rather just being his usual fun self. Maybe this is all in my mind.

Despite the fact he said he couldn’t get our kiss out of his mind, and despite the fact he sometimes looks at me with heat, maybe I’m not the kind of woman he’d ever be interested in. He did rescue me after I ran away from my own wedding, a hot mess, after all. And he’s spent most of the time since then propping me up, seeing all the ways I’m not put together. He told me about some of the dysfunctional relationships he’s had. Maybe these days, he’s looking for women who have their shit together.

Feeling like a fool, I gather my pajamas and lock myself away in the bathroom. I’ll take a shower and do my best to forget what I thought could happen tonight. It’s probably for the best, anyway. I’ve got enough to deal with at the moment. I don’t need to add another man into the mix.

I hear Ethan out in the room while I’m putting my pajama shorts on after my shower, and suddenly, I’m feeling awkward and weird about going back out there. It’s like my teen years all over again when I had no clue about guys and put way too much thought into everything I said and did when I was around them.

Ugh.

I’m being ridiculous.

I’m a grown woman. Not a teenager. This doesn’t have to be weird. Ethan can’t read my thoughts. He doesn’t know I’ve been imagining his naked ass and wondering what it would feel like to touch him. To have him touch me.

I yank the bathroom door open a little more enthusiastically than I mean to, and in doing so gain all of Ethan’s attention. And hot damn, he’s shirtless.

Shit.

Don’t look at his chest, Maddie.

Or his abs.

Don’t do it.

Don’t—

“Why are you avoiding me?” The words fly out of my mouth before I can stop them and shit, shit, shit. I hold my hand up. “No, just ignore that.” I really don’t want to get into a conversation about why he’s not interested in me.

I remove my eyes from him and hurry out of the bathroom to my suitcase, intent on putting my dirty clothes there before crawling into bed and hiding under the covers so I can forget this moment ever happened.

“I’m avoiding you because if I don’t, I’ll be putting my hands on you and asking for something I shouldn’t be.”

Just the thought of Ethan’s hands on me causes need to pool low in my stomach, let alone the gravel in his voice.

I twist to face him, sucking in a breath at the raw desire in his eyes. “Why shouldn’t you be asking for it?”

He appears torn over this. “I’d be taking advantage of a hell of a lot, Maddie.”

“Of what?”

“Fuck, of everything. You’re not sharing a hotel room with me because you want to have sex. I’m trying to remember that.”

I close the distance between us, loving the way he sucks in a breath now. “You think I wanted to share this room with you tonight because I didn’t want to be alone?”

He looks down at me and I think it’s taking everything in him to get through this conversation. “You’re telling me that’s not the reason?”

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