Page 149 of Snared Rider

“Hurt like that leaves a permanent scar. I want to forgive you, even though I know that is dangerous. I know I’ll never survive you walking away from me again, but I’m willing to take a chance we can work because…” I break off and take a steadying breath, “Because I’ve never stopped loving you.”

And that probably makes me the stupidest person on the planet, but it’s true all the same. I know what people will think though: why would any self-respecting woman put herself back into a situation to be hurt again, but I believe Logan when he says he’s sorry and I believe him when he tells me he’ll spend the rest of his life making it up to me.

I want back what we had before. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t miss him. Our physical relationship was short—just a matter of months—but I’ve known Logan all my life. He was a permanent fixture for me from my first breath. He was always there when I needed help. He was my friend and I’ve missed him. Yes, he did a stupid thing and I’m not denying it was stupid because it was, but his reasons did not come from a bad place. Can I really punish him forever for that?

No, I can’t.

However, he will have to prove that my faith in him is not misplaced. The thought of opening myself fully to him scares me, I won’t deny that. I’ve protected my heart from him for so long now I don’t know if I can remove the iron walls around it. It was easy to let go in the throes of lovemaking, but in the stark light of day with reality shrouding us…

Panic bubbles as I think about letting him in.

Can I do that?

Can I really do that?

Sensing this, or perhaps seeing it in my eyes, he pulls me tight against him—well, as tightly as he can with the trolley between us.

“Everything will be all right, I promise. If you need to go slow, I’ll go slow. If you want to speed things up, I’ll do that, too. Whatever it takes to make you mine again.”

I should rail against his words, at the assumption this is a done deal, but I don’t because deep down I want this too. I didn’t realise how much I want it, how much I missed it, how much I missed him until this week. Once I stopped avoiding him and talked to him, once I realised what I walked away from… well, I was done.

I do want Logan.

I’ve never stopped wanting him.

Watching him bleeding on the floor of the dining room made me realise just how much I want him.

I’m coming to understand just how fragile life is. If Logan died on the Club’s dining room floor, I would never recover from that. Sometimes it takes a shock to make you realise what life is about and for the past ten years I’ve been treading water, going through the motions. I shouldn’t have spent so much time away, and I should never have moved in with Alistair.

Truthfully, there is a lot of shit I should not have done.

“You’ve got a lot of ground to make up,” I tell him, and I mean it. He does.

He clearly knows this too, because he says, “I know. I just want the chance to show you I’ve changed.”

“Let’s just get you back on your feet first. Then we can sort ‘us’ out.”

His fingers go into my hair again. “Anything you say, baby.”

Someone clears their throat behind us and I twist in my seat to see Wade poking his head around the curtain.

“We’ve got the go-ahead to move out.”

I feel Logan tense as the air grows heavy. I feel on edge myself and I rub my suddenly moist palms on my jean-clad thighs.

“Are we going to the clubhouse?” My voice remains level, which is a feat because I’m scared to death. Wilson is a Grade A maniac with murder on his mind.

“We’re not going to the clubhouse,” he answers with an odd, closed expression. “I’m going to take you somewhere safe.”

“Okay, well, once the doctor’s seen Logan we can go.”

Wade shifts on his feet. “Logan’s not coming with us, Beth. He’s going separately.”

This thought gives me palpitations. I shake my head. “I’m not going anywhere without him.”

“Baby,” Logan’s voice draws my attention, “we’re not safe at the hospital. It’s a public place and there’s too many fucking variables.” He kisses the tip of my nose. “I need you safe, love.”

“Logan—”

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