Page 46 of A Kingdom of Broken Bonds

No, I refuse to fall apart. I am the first bride, and I am here to save my people. The ball tonight, as far as I am aware, is a celebration, so I shouldn’t go in expecting the worst. I shall be composed yet careful, as I always am.

Determined, I stride over to the mirror to check my appearance. Tonight’s dress is my favourite of all I have worn since I have been here, and it is sure to cause a scandal, but I don’t care.

The fabric is a deep mauve crossed with gold, shimmering as it moves. Wrapped around my body in a toga-like fashion, it is draped artistically over my bust, and a waterfall of pleats crosses down from my shoulder to the cinch at my waist. More fabric drapes over my legs and tucks up under a pleated waistband, the remainder rippling down the opening, which exposes most of my left leg. A gold chain hangs from my waist, and two cap sleeves have been added that are made entirely of golden chainmail. It’s delicate and beautiful, but it makes me stand out, giving me a feminine yet powerful appearance. A half cape made of the same gauzy material as the dress hangs from my left shoulder, flowing gracefully behind me as I walk. My silver hair is pulled back and braided with additional golden chains woven throughout, causing the strands to shine even more than usual.

I look like a warrior.

Another light knock pulls my attention away from the mirror, and I turn to see Felix walk into the room. He takes one look at me and frowns in concern before crossing the room to me. “Thea, is everything okay?”

“Felix.” I whisper his name like a breathy prayer, not realising just how much I needed to see him tonight. He is my rock, my link to my home, and a constant reminder of exactly why I am here.

Stepping forward to meet him, I place my hands on his chest, holding him close. I press my forehead against his chest and take several deep breaths, inhaling his scent and grounding myself.

“I think something bad is going to happen tonight,” I whisper, keeping my face buried against his chest. “My instincts are screaming at me.” The admission costs me, making me wince as Havoc’s bond flares within me, as though he is able to tell I am questioning going to the ball tonight.

His fingers brush against my chin, gently lifting my face until our gazes lock. “Everyone is going to be there tonight, including me. He wouldn’t have brought us all together if he was just going to shame or hurt you. It would make him look bad. The nobility is on your side here. Besides, I would never let that happen,” he tells me, staring into my eyes and making sure I understand what he’s saying.

I only now register that the shirt I am currently clinging to is a smart white shirt, nothing like the loose beige overshirts he usually wears. Glancing down, I see he’s wearing fitted black trousers that hug his frame in a way that makes my fangs ache.

He notices, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. “When was the last time you fed?”

Damn it. Sure, it has been a while since I had a full feed, but the fact that people keep pointing it out makes me wonder what they are seeing that I don’t when I look in the mirror. Perhaps I am a little pale, and I look as though I could use a good night’s sleep. Even so, they should not be able to tell. Perhaps it is only those who know me well, as only Finnik, Geoff, and now Felix have mentioned it.

“I had a couple of shots earlier,” I confess, raising my chin, daring him to say something.

Shots are donated blood that has been taken and bottled, allowing for a quick feed when there is no time to find a donor. They are generally kept for emergencies, and most vampires prefer to feed from the original food source. Bottled blood tastes different, probably the anticoagulants they put in it to keep it from clotting.

I didn’t have time to feed properly earlier thanks to having to get ready for the ball, so I took a couple of shots to top me up. I am nowhere near close to being full, but it’s enough to stop me from trying to bite anyone at the ball.

He frowns as he crosses his arms over his chest. “You know those aren’t good for you.”

“I know, I know.” I do know, as Geoff tells me every time he brings me one with a disapproving frown. “Anyway, do you really think you could stop the prince from hurting me if it came down to it?” I turn the spotlight onto him.

It’s an unfair question to ask, as it sounds like I’m doubting him, which I’m not. I’m simply stating that Havoc has been trained in fighting and defence since he could walk, not to mention he has guards all around him who would likely stop Felix from getting to me. Felix is a stable hand, so although he’s strong, I don’t know how he would manage against the prince. Really, I am simply trying to take the weight of the conversation off me because I am uncomfortable and don’t know how to manage. Unfortunately, that has turned him into my unwitting target.

He doesn’t seem offended by my question, though, sensing my turbulent emotions and knowing I do not mean it like it sounds. Instead, he takes my hand in his and pulls me close, looking down at me with an intensity that makes my knees weak.

“Thea, I would do anything to get to you if you needed me. I may not be the most powerful male around, but do not doubt the strength of my feelings for you. I love you and shall always have your back.” Every word is said in earnest, and I can feel the truth in what he said. He would move mountains and fight impossible battles to get to me, give up everything he possesses, and live life on the edges of society to be with me. I know all of this simply from the way he looks at me and the way my heart responds in my chest.

What have I ever done to earn a love like this? He is not my mate, yet I love him fiercely. This shouldn’t be possible, and I am only just allowing myself to admit that, the force of my feelings for him too strong to deny any longer. It’s an unrestrained love that is not controlled or predestined by fate or the gods or any other mystical force. It is simply him and me.

If only it were that simple.

I am betrothed to a prince who is also my fated mate. There is a fae male who tells me he is my mate, which, although impossible, is getting harder and harder to deny. That mystical pull inside me is also dragging me towards Finnik, another fae and the best friend of my betrothed. Even if I am able to work out that complicated mess, there is no possible way that any of them would allow Felix to have a relationship with me, our feelings be damned.

Gripping his shirt, I screw my eyes shut and press my face against his chest, my eyes stinging with unshed tears. Everything is so complicated. How can I fall in love with someone who is not my mate?

Felix sighs and wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on top of my head. We stay this way for several minutes, making the most of these few stolen moments, as we both know as soon as we leave this room, everything will go back to the way it was before.

“Seeing you like this makes my heart hurt,” Felix whispers into my hair, rubbing my back in soothing motions. He untangles himself from my hold and steps back, brushing his fingers against my cheek in an intimate gesture. “Try to enjoy tonight. I will be there if you need me.”

Stretching up onto my toes, I press a whisper of a kiss against his lips. “Thank you, Felix.”

He smiles down at me sadly before turning and exiting the room, leaving me alone.

The party is in full swing when I arrive, and even outside the ballroom, I can hear the buzz of excitement from the attendees. Standing by the open doors, I peep in and see flashes of brightly coloured dresses as couples dance in the centre of the room. Goblets of wine are being handed out by servers, and there is a mostly untouched buffet at the back of the room, the tables laden with food.

A glimmer catches my attention, and I spot Bliss spinning with a handsome horned male. Are all the other brides here too? A quick scan of the room confirms what I thought—everyone is already here.

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