Page 41 of A Kingdom of Broken Bonds

Time becomes irrelevant, and I don’t know if I’ve been in his lap kissing him for minutes or hours. I am completely absorbed in Eli. Like this, everything else falls away, and the stressors and burdens that await me outside this carriage cease to exist. All that matters is him and me.

However, like all things, it must come to an end. I won’t take the next step with him until things have been rectified with Havoc and me.

Eli slowly pulls back from me. His pupils are blown wide from his desire, and he’s breathless. It is gratifying to see he feels this pull as much as I do. Looking at my face, he takes me in, the longing in his eyes clear to see.

“While I want to take this further, this is as far as we can go until you decide what you are going to do with Havoc.”

He understands. His thoughts are aligned with mine, and while we might take things further if the situation was different, I have responsibilities I need to see through. My body slumps with relief, as though the tension in my bones has fled.

He’s not trying to make me feel guilty with his comment, but I find myself explaining. “I have to try, Eli. I won’t let anyone say that this was my fault if the bond between Havoc and me fails.”

It also gives me time to research and discover more about the fae and their mate bonds. The fae are so different, and if Eli is right and we are mates, then they clearly have different bonds. I need to know the potential consequences of binding myself to him, and if there is going to be anywhere that documents this, it will be here at the Drathlor Castle library. Seeing as I am going to be here for the foreseeable future, I should make the most of my time.

“The only difference I can think of is that I am from another land, so perhaps our bonds are different?” Eli muses, his expression confused, but his stare is locked on me like he’s afraid I might disappear if he looks away. “It is rare, but where I am from, it is possible to have more than one mate.”

Rocked by this revelation, I sit back on my side of the carriage. My mind is spinning with questions and possibilities. Does that mean it is possible to have both Havoc and Eli as mates? Does that mean I am not defective because I repulse Havoc?

“Do you think that is why our connection feels so different than mine and Havoc’s?” I ask tentatively, not sure how I feel about either answer.

I don’t mention Finnik and how close I feel to him, and I certainly don’t bring up Felix. I have no idea how my closest friend fits into all of this, because while I have feelings for him, true, real feelings, there is no sort of bond guiding me when it comes to him.

Could it really be that I have more than one mate? Is that why I’m drawn to him and Finnik this way? They are constantly on my mind, hovering in the background and never quite letting me free. Even my dreams are consumed with the two fae and Felix, not my mate who I’m supposed to love.

“It could be,” he responds carefully, trying and failing to hide his excitement at the prospect. Something shifts in him, though, wiping away any hint of happiness. “You’re not coming with me, are you?”

Despite how much I wish otherwise, I shake my head. There are so many possibilities with Eli, but my responsibilities are here, and there is too much at stake for me to be selfish. I open my mouth to explain again, to apologise, but he stops me by raising his hand.

“It is okay, I understand why you have to stay.” Blowing out a frustrated breath, he runs his long fingers through his golden hair, pushing it back from his face. “It was rash of me to ask you to run away with me like we are teenagers and this is our first love.” He grins, absentmindedly rubbing a spot over his heart. “I got caught up in the pull of the bond and being so close to my mate.”

“I know the feeling,” I reply, a small, damaged smile on my lips.

He watches me carefully, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “We need to research your curse so we can figure out how to save your people and get you away from here.” His words end on a snarl, but he quickly carries on. “I can meet you in the royal library.”

Raising my brows sceptically, I tilt my head to one side. “How are you going to get in? I thought you weren’t welcome in the palace.”

“Oh, I have my ways.” He grins cheekily, and it drags my own smile from me. If anyone is going to manage it, it will be Eli.

Noise from the slums works its way to us, reminding us of where we are. My heart squeezes painfully in my chest, but I know our time is running out. “You better leave before anyone comes looking for me.”

He nods reluctantly, his hand on the carriage door.

“Good night, Anthea.” He leans in and kisses me lightly.

It is sweet and promises more. Closing my eyes, I let myself enjoy the feel of his lips against mine, committing it to memory. The warmth of his lips is replaced by a cool breeze, and when I open my eyes, I am alone in the carriage.

Chapter Seventeen

The cold kiss of a blade against my cheek causes me to jump back a moment too late, and it nicks my skin. A tiny trickle of blood rolls down my face, and the darkness inside me surges to the surface, my fangs aching at the prospect of a meal. Apparently, even my own blood is appetising today, meaning I really need to feed.

“Hit,” Finnik calls out, indicating that not only has he scored a point, but it’s also time to take a break.

Cursing, I step back and sheathe my blade at my hip, reaching up to capture the bead of blood on my cheek. The wound has already healed thanks to my vampiric healing, and I cannot seem to stop myself from putting my finger in my mouth and sucking off the blood. It tingles over my tongue, and I almost close my eyes in bliss. It has been too long since I last fed, and I will not be able to ignore the need for much longer.

“You’re distracted today,” Finnik scolds as he walks over to the side of the training ring, grabbing his bottle of water.

He’s right. Ever since I returned to the castle last night, my mind has been turning, not giving me even a moment of rest. Although I do not need much sleep, I’ve not had any at all, and partnering that with my hunger, I’m spacy and grumpy.

The gaunt, scared faces of the children who were living in the wreckage of their shacks and the sounds of wailing of mothers who lost their children in the disaster have stuck with me. It was a harrowing experience, and as soon as I can convince the king to allow me to, I will return to the slums to help once more.

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