Page 40 of A Kingdom of Broken Bonds

“Havoc is my mate.” The words taste like acid on my tongue, and oh, how desperately I wish this wasn’t true and that Eli really was my mate. There is something I cannot deny, however, and that’s the mate bond between Havoc and me. As soon as my and Havoc’s eyes met, we instantly knew we were mates, even though he didn’t want to be. With Eli, I feel so drawn to him that it seems cruel to separate us like this. Physically, yes, he’s gorgeous, but it is more than that, as though a piece of my soul recognises him and wants to be reconnected. If I’m going to be honest, then I would admit that I feel the same sense of connection to Finnik. These feelings are so different from the otherworldly assurance I have with Havoc, despite having no physical or mental desire to be with him.

“I do not know what happened there, or how the two of you are mates, but what I can tell you with certainty is that you are my mate. I am not mistaken on this.” He certainly seems sure, his gaze unwavering, not feeling the need to demand my understanding. “Can you not feel the connection between us?” He raises the hand he’s still holding and presses it to his chest. “Feel my pulse as though it was your own? You cannot tell me that you don’t feel it too.”

I do, and that is my issue. I shouldn’t be feeling this way when I already have a mate. Everything that I have ever been taught says I shouldn’t even want to look at another male, let alone want to run away with Eli. I stare up at him, feeling his warmth and the thumping of his heart beneath my hand.

“Come with me, Anthea. We can leave now before they try to stop us.”

For half a second, I allow myself to imagine what it would be like if I just left with him, the two of us disappearing into the night. We could be happy together, travel the land, and perhaps even cross the mountains to his homeland, carving a life for ourselves where prophecies don’t rule our lives.

That half a second is all I will allow myself to indulge in though. There is no way I could ever leave when it could directly have an impact on others. Eli might think he can help me break the curse, but it goes against everything I’ve been taught over the years.

“My part of the prophecy is tied to marrying Havoc. I can’t leave.” I hate every word that leaves my mouth, but I speak with a surety that cannot be swayed.

“Is it?” he questions, his mouth twisting. “Does it specifically state that you have to marry the prince?”

No, it doesn’t state who I have to marry, just that I will marry. However, I’m exhausted, frustrated, and confused by all of this, and I’m not going to start debating the wording of the prophecy.

“He’s my mate,” I reply instead.

He snorts at my lack of an answer, anger in his eyes. “He doesn’t want you, and I know you do not want to be tied to someone like him. You are my mate too, Thea, you need to believe me.”

His words might be true, and I know for a fact that Havoc doesn’t want me—gods, I don’t even want him. Despite all of that, Eli’s words still hurt, making me recoil. I try to hide my reaction, but judging by Eli’s frown, I know he can see right through it.

“I believe that you believe what you’re telling me is the truth, but I can’t leave.” I beg him with my eyes to understand. “Not yet. I have to try and fix things with Havoc. The fate of my people is on the line here, Eli. I have to try.”

Tilting my chin up to look up at the sky, I shake my head. “I barely know you.” Even as I say this, I know it’s not true. Somehow, I do know him. I know his heart and that his intentions towards me are true. It is impossible for me to explain how I know all of this when we have only ever met twice, but the surety of it rings through me with such clarity that all else seems to fade away for a moment.

Warm, gentle fingers cradle my cheeks, pulling my face down so he can press his forehead against mine. “But you do know me, at least your soul does. You are mine, Anthea, just as much as I am yours.” The gesture is so intimate and his voice is so torn that it makes my heart break.

Laughter fills the air, making both of us jump, and we look around for whatever the source of the noise is, only to realise it is just a group of males passing by. They pay us no mind, and I am quickly reminded of where we are. This conversation is far from over. I cannot let him go thinking that I don’t care for him. If he is right and we are mates, I can’t risk turning him away. I just need a little more time to get myself straight. The slums are not the place for a conversation like this though.

Biting down on my lip, I fight with myself over what to do. I close the distance between us and press my hands against his chest, staring up into his pained eyes. I only meant to comfort him, yet now I’m in his arms and emotions are high, and the rational part of my brain is no longer in charge.

“Meet me in my carriage in five minutes,” I say, and although his lips twitch up at what could very well be read as a sexual invitation, his gaze searches my face carefully. “We need to speak about this more, but in private.”

His brows furrow ever so slightly, and I get the strongest urge to lean up and kiss his forehead until he is no longer frowning. This is not a good idea, and I need to put some space between us before I do something stupid. I don’t wait for his reply, already knowing he will come.

Spinning on my heels, I move through the rubble until I find Geoff, gesturing that I’m going to take a break in the carriage. He nods his agreement, waving me off and returning to his conversation with a young female centaur.

As discussed when we were planning our trip, the carriage has been moved to a quiet street between the bottom of the city and the slums, two guards standing vigil to make sure nothing is stolen. They snap to attention when they spot me, waiting silently for my instructions.

“I’m going to rest in the carriage, please do not disturb me unless there is an emergency.” Reaching inside for my vampire traits, I keep my expression stoic and my voice even so I do not give anything away. The last thing I need is for them to suspect that I am doing nefarious things in the carriage with someone who is not my mate. I must manage it, since they salute me and step aside so I can pass.

“We shall wait at the end of the street, my lady.”

Dipping my head in thanks, I pass them and walk straight to the carriage. They didn’t suspect me in the slightest, and I have no doubt Eli will be able to sneak past them.

Now safely ensconced within the walls of the carriage, I draw the curtains across the windows and light the lantern before taking a seat on one of the plush benches. All I have to do is wait. Of course, with nothing else to do, my mind starts working over everything that happened between us, dissecting each interaction.

I’m not bringing him back to the carriage to have sex, even though both my body and mind are trying to convince me otherwise. Does Eli think that is why I invited him to the carriage? He seemed confused and conflicted when I left, so he could believe that I just want to talk… or he was conflicted because he doesn’t want to fuck me until I agree to leave with him. If he’s right and we are mates, then having sex will bind us together, at least, that is how it works here. Who knows if things work differently over the mountains.

Even so, there is one very important reason we cannot have sex yet, even though I wish it were otherwise. Other than the fact that I want to get to know him and not just jump into a lifelong relationship with him, I can’t do this while I’m still trying with Havoc. As long as I am Havoc’s betrothed, I will not have sex with anyone else. I almost went too far with Felix the other day, and I’m glad he managed to stop me before I crossed a line.

There is a light knock on the door, and then it slowly opens to allow Eli through. Closing it firmly behind him, he takes a deep breath before he turns to look at me.

My fangs ache in my mouth, desperate to taste him.

I am not sure who moves first, but our lips crash together, and our limbs intertwine. It becomes impossible to tell where one of us ends and the other begins. My aching need for him drives my actions, and I almost feel like a vampire in a feeding frenzy, but it’s his kisses sustaining me rather than his blood. He tastes like sunsets and the smoke of fire pits, his warmth heating me from within. I could get lost in this sensation forever.

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