Page 31 of A Kingdom of Broken Bonds

Comfort and safety surround me, and in this moment, I can pretend we are somewhere else. I take a deep inhale to settle myself further. He smells like home.

“Besides, that won’t happen,” he murmurs into my hair. “He’s an idiot, but he won’t doom the entire kingdom for the sake of his pride. Why wouldn’t he want to be your mate? I would kill for that honour.”

I don’t think he’s joking, and if he’s speaking the truth, then this could change everything. Stilling, I pull back enough to look up at his face. His expression is serious, his eyes a complex mix of emotions.

“Felix, what are you saying?” My voice is a whisper, as though my volume will help contain the rush of feelings his words cause. I don’t dare presume what he means in case I’m wrong and destroy everything.

Thankfully for my fragile heart, he doesn’t leave me waiting. He cups my face with his hands, his expression softening as a gentle smile pulls at his lips. “I’m saying that I love you, Thea.”

The world seems to shift around me, tilting on its axis as his words sink in.

I love you, Thea. The declaration rings in my mind, over and over, until those three words are all I can hear. I love you. I love you. I love you. The young, uninhibited part of me is overjoyed, my heart pounding in my chest, but that part of me was pushed to the back of my mind a long time ago. I don’t have the time nor freedom to think like that, not when the fate of the land rests partially on my shoulders.

Felix’s thumb gently strokes my cheek, and I realise he’s still speaking. Shaking myself from my internal musings, I focus on what he’s saying.

“I have for a long time, yet I said nothing because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship when nothing could happen between us.” His face darkens, but I know this change in mood isn’t aimed at me. “We will never be accepted as a couple, and you have a mate, but I will not let you think you are unlovable. The prince is a prick for thinking otherwise.”

He’s right. A relationship between a born vampire and a changed vampire would never be supported, especially not when one part of the couple is the first bride. That’s one of the reasons I have never let myself indulge in fantasies of the two of us despite the sexual tension between us. Geoff has always kept a close eye on us, noticing our connection, and has threatened to separate us several times because of this.

However, Felix has decided to end his silence on the subject. He truly believes that nothing will ever happen between us, but he has laid his heart out for me to see simply so I know I am capable of being loved. He doesn’t expect me to reciprocate in any way, he’s simply here to make sure I’m okay. It’s selfless and something that sums up Felix perfectly.

I’m going to tell him how I feel. No, not tell—I’ll show him exactly what his words mean to me. I might come to regret this later, as this will make things more complicated, both between us and the mess that is my relationship with Havoc. I am hurt and aching, though, from Havoc’s rejection, and Felix is here, caring for me, just like he always has. If I allow myself to admit it, then I can admit I have had feelings for Felix that go far beyond friendship for a long time. We have walked a fine line with our friendship, knowing our circumstances would make a relationship impossible.

With him here now, comforting me and admitting his true feelings, it makes me feel brave enough to take what I have so desperately wanted for so long.

Our bodies are already pressed together thanks to the embrace he instigated, so it doesn’t take much for me to push him backward until his back hits the wall of the barn. His eyes are locked on me, yet there is something in his dark, intense gaze that makes him appear… hungry. It makes me want him all the more.

Without waiting for him to say anything, I push up onto my toes and press my lips to his. They are soft and plump, making me want to sink my teeth into them. Felix kisses me back, his lips moving against mine gently.

“No, I don’t want gentle right now,” I whisper against his lips, gripping his shoulders tightly, my nails digging into his skin. “There will be a time for that. Right now, I want you to show me that you love me.”

For a moment, he stares down at me, and I think he’s going to say no. I have a mate, and Felix is the type of male who would never cross that line. He has seen how toxic the bond between Havoc and myself is though, as well as how he rejects me publicly. The prince wants nothing to do with me. All of this seems to flit across his face—Felix has always worn his heart on his sleeve.

However, before I can even take my next breath, he makes his decision and grabs my waist, flipping us around so I’m pressed against the wooden wall. Threading our fingers together, he lifts our hands above my head, pinning them there. His free hand cups my cheek as he gazes down at me.

“If I had it my way and the prophecy didn’t exist, I imagine the two of us would live in the countryside of Trador, perhaps running a stable together. We would live there by ourselves with no one around to bother us. It would be peaceful and happy, a simple life.” He smiles as he talks, but it turns into a seductive smile. “I could show you how much I love you every day.”

“That is a beautiful dream, Felix.” Looking up at him, I feel sad at the reality of our situation. “But I am never going to be able to give you that.”

He kisses me slowly, showing me exactly what he thinks of my comment. “Any stretch of time spent with you is enough.”

If I were the type to swoon, that is exactly what I would be doing. He’s too good for me, he always has been, and I worry he’s going to get hurt in all of this. Only a moment ago, I was ready to throw caution to the wind and let my feelings take the reins. Now, I’m lost in my mind, worrying that I might fuck this all up. He’s one of the people I am closest to in my life, losing him because of this would destroy me.

Breaking the kiss, he arches an eyebrow. “I can feel you overthinking this, Thea. I’m not a naive little boy. I know the situation, and I’m prepared to face the consequences if needed. Now, kiss me and let me make you feel better.”

He’s giving me a choice—step back and forget this happened or kiss him and enter into a new life. It’s terrifying. I have only ever grown up knowing that I will have to marry someone as part of the prophecy, and then as I got older, I learned Havoc was my mate. Felix has never been part of that equation.

Logically, I know I should step away, but my heart is making decisions for me now.

As soon as my lips touch his, he moves, releasing my hands and using his own to feel my body. Nicking his lower lip with my fangs, I gently work the resulting drop of blood into my mouth, humming as he continues to explore my curves. His blood ignites every nerve ending, and I know I’m playing with fire. Having sex weakens my control, and here I am, making him bleed and teasing myself with the scent of his blood. I’m walking a fine line, pushing myself to the limits of my control.

Sliding his hands up my tunic, he finds my breasts, working my nipples into stiff peaks. The sensation is everything, not to mention my feelings are heightened by the fact anyone could walk into the barn at any time.

Tearing at his shirt, I ignore the sound of ripping fabric and run my hands over his chest, his pale skin smooth and soft to the touch, yet the hard muscles below make his chest and arms feel firm. I always forget how much of a workout it is to work in the stables, constantly mucking out stalls and carrying heavy equipment. He might have a boyish look about him, but he is all man, something he reminds me of now as he presses against me, and I feel the hardness of his cock through his trousers.

Needing to feel him, I push the waistband of his trousers down, gasping as his cock springs free. He’s not wearing underwear. I wrap my hand around his length, enjoying his noises of pleasure as he twitches in my palm. Pushing past my open skirt, he slides my leggings and underwear down, cupping my pussy before dipping a finger between my folds.

What he finds makes him groan with pleasure as my wetness coats his fingers. I’m so ready for him. Circling my clit, he uses various pressures until I’m a mewling mess. If I wasn’t pinned against the wall, I would be slumped on the floor, my knees having given way at the pure pleasure he’s bringing me.

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