Page 13 of Love and Other Goals

Rejected. Tossed aside. Crushed. All the emotions of that moment with Aaron flicker through my mind. Mateo looks into my eyes and nods tersely, as if reading my thoughts.

“Yeah. I decided right there that he’d had his chance—lots of chances—to be honest with you about how he felt, to pursue you the way you deserve to be pursued, and he still hadn’t done anything. So, I decided I wasn’t going to let him stand in the way of me taking my shot anymore.”

“Your shot…with me?” I squeak, still feeling wildly confused.

“Yes,” Mateo says. “Maybe I was doing the right thing giving Adams space, or maybe I was just being a coward, I don’t know. But I’m not going to stand back anymore. I understand that I’ve had time to think about this—about us—and you’ve just been blindsided, so I’m not asking you to know right away. I’m just asking for the possibility. To get to know you more intentionally, for you to get to know me more intentionally.”

He takes a deep breath and leans forward, his eyes laced with both intensity and insecurity as he asks, “Lana, will you please give me a chance? Let me take you on a clearly-defined date, and then you can decide if you want to continue anything romantic or just be friends.”

Somewhere along the way, I apparently stopped breathing because the edges of my vision go a little blurry. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. When I open them, Mateo is anxiously staring into them.

“Okay,” I say. “Yes.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

Iopen the door to my room, relieved to find that Amaya and Teegan aren’t there. They must still be down in the media room watching a movie. I close the door and sink down on my bed.

I’m not sure how to process what just happened with Mateo. My mind isn’t sure what thread to grab hold of to start untangling my thoughts and feelings. I pull up Spotify on my phone to turn on some music to help me think.

But which playlist matches the emotions swirling through my body? Moody doesn’t feel quite right; this certainly isn’t a mindful or magical moment. I finally hit play and repeat on “Hard to Sleep” by Gracie Abrams. The melancholy tone and simple piano melody soothe my chaotic thoughts.

I prop my legs up on the wall above my bed and lay back with my eyes closed. I’m trying to nail down the emotions that I’m experiencing, but nothing is making sense.

I open my eyes as the word hits me.

Startled.

That feeling when something jumps out at you that you aren’t expecting—you’re not exactly afraid, but your whole body reacts and your heart starts pounding.

Mateo voicing his feelings for me has me experiencing that same sensation. I still feel that heart-thumping adrenaline rush pulsing through my veins. My fingers start playing along with the music on my bedspread next to me, trying to calm my mind down.

How could Mateo have been paying such close attention and I never noticed? Why have I never noticed him like that? How could he have liked me for years and I had no idea?

The song is on its third loop when Teegan and Amaya come through the door together, arguing about the theme for the homecoming float. They take one look at me on the bed and quickly close the door.

“Okay, what happened that’s got you listening to your stormy mind music, Lana?” Amaya immediately asks as she takes a seat at her desk chair. “Is it time for a throat punch?”

Teegan moves my hair out of the way and sits down next to my head on the bed. She taps the button to illuminate my phone screen. “Yep, you’re on loop—spill it, LaLa,” Teegan adds, pausing the music and tossing my phone back down.

I take a deep breath in through my nose and blow it out my mouth.

“It was a date.”

“‘Scuse me?” Amaya asks.

“With Mateo. It was a date,” I repeat, sitting up on the bed to face them. “Or at least, that’s what he intended. Mateo Alvarez likes me and wants to take me on an official date.”

Teegan literally screams.

I can’t help but laugh, despite my jumbled mental state. “Please stop screaming Teegs, I’d rather not alert our entire sorority house.”

“What are you talking about?!” Teegan exclaims. “Mateo Alvarez likes you, and you don’t want to declare that for the whole campus to hear?”

“Calm down Teeg,” Amaya says, throwing a pen at her. “Back up, Lana, you’ve gotta give us the whole context of this. No detail left unshared.”

I walk back through my entire interaction with Mateo, interrupted frequently by Teegan wanting to know what his facial expression looked like or what I was thinking at any given moment. When I get to the part where he spouted off an absurdly detailed list of observations about me, Teegan sighs “Awww!” as Amaya exclaims, “Shut up!”

I wrap up the story with his earnest request to give him a chance on a real date, and my affirmative answer. Teegan catapults herself at me in a huge hug as Amaya sits back and says, “Well, can’t say I was expecting that.”

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