Page 68 of Nathan

Pain tears through my chest. I scramble to my feet but am pulled up short when Callum stops me.

“I’ll go. It’s my screw-up. Mine to fix.”

“No,” Declan says. “Leave him. He’s hurting and needs some space to himself. When he comes back, we’ll sit together as a family and have a proper discussion.” He turns to me. “Do you know the full story?”

“I know as much as you do. I’m the one who persuaded him to tell you. That shit has been eating him up for years, and I hoped by releasing it, he could begin to heal the pain he’s carried alone for all these years.” I give a despairing snort and sweep a hand down my face. “What a mess. Did you have to react like that?” The last comment is aimed at Callum, who grimaces and tugs on his collar as if it’s choking him.

I’d like to choke him right this second.

“Shoot first, think later,” he says apologetically. “Yep, I pretty much hate myself right now.”

“Does he know who his father was?” Declan asks.

I shake my head. “I’m not sure. He didn’t say, and I didn’t ask.”

Ciaran rises from his chair and paces in front of the couch. “I can’t believe Mom had an affair.” He rakes both hands through his hair, leaving them there as his face twists with pain. This can’t be easy for any of them. “And worse than that, I can’t believe Nate thought, for all those years, that it would change one damn thing about the way we feel about him. I couldn’t give a flying fuck who his sperm donor was. He’s my brother, and I love the fucking bones of him.”

I catch Ciaran’s eye. “When he gets back, can you please tell him that? Right away. Let those be the first words out of your mouth, because that’s exactly what he needs to hear.”

Ciaran nods while Callum recovers his composure and says, “We’ll all tell him that. It happens to be the truth.”

“Thank you,” I say, my voice husky and raw as I fight to contain the emotion swirling through me. “I love him, too, you see.”

Three pairs of emerald eyes turn on me, so very different to Nate’s ice-blue, but despite the differences between him and his brothers, there are also similarities. The strong, firm jawlines. The straight, perfectly formed noses. The fact they are all insanely good-looking, which either means both their fathers were handsome sons of bitches, or they all got their looks from their mother.

“Thank you.” Declan is the first to speak up. “For persuading him to tell us. It was the right call. I can’t believe he discovered such a devastating secret and kept it to himself all this time.”

“He didn’t want to ruin your memory of your mom, so he decided he’d be the one to suffer.”

Declan rubs his face, hard, and blows out a heavy breath tinged with exhaustion. “There’s nothing we can do until he returns. I’ll call everyone as soon as he comes home. Dex, you’re welcome to hang out, or leave your number and I’ll call you, too, if you’d rather get some fresh air.”

I shake my head. “I’m not leaving until he’s back.”

Declan nods. “Fair enough.”

The day passes with no sign of Nate returning. The brothers all gather back at Declan’s home in the evening, trying to decide what to do. Ciaran had called a few of his ex-NYPD buddies to keep a lookout, but as Nate is a grown man with the freedom to come and go as he pleases, there isn’t a lot they can do.

“Do you think he’d just fly back to LA?” Declan asks after we’ve exhausted all other possibilities.

A shot of ice water rushes through my veins. Surely he wouldn’t be so cruel. To leave me here with virtual strangers as a punishment for the way I’d pushed him into revealing a secret he’d successfully hidden until I came along.

“No,” Ciaran says. “He’s hurting, but he’s not a total fucker.” He squeezes my hand. “He wouldn’t leave you here, sweetheart.”

“How can you be sure?” My voice betrays me, wavering.

“I’m sure. I know my brother.”

Declan begins to pace. “If he hasn’t gone back to California, where the hell could he be? He doesn’t have any friends here, so it’s not like he’ll be hanging out with them.”

While we all try to second-guess Nate’s whereabouts without any real clue as to where he could have gone to lick his wounds, an idea pricks at me.

Could that be where he is?

I get to my feet and grab my purse. “I think I know where he might be.”

“Where?” Callum asks, but I don’t listen. I shoot for the exit.

“I’m coming with you.” Declan snatches up his phone and wallet. “You guys stay here in case he comes back, and call me the second he does.”

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