Page 44 of Ciaran

The noise inside the bustling restaurant fades into the background as I map every angle and every shadow of his face. Silent moments with Tanner were to be feared, but sharing silence with Ciaran feels like being wrapped in the coziest blanket. I crave the heat he provides.

“Are you ready to order?”

Ciaran lets me go. Great. Thanks for breaking the spell. I refrain from scowling at the young kid earnestly waiting for us to tell him what we want. We order and, alone once more, Ciaran recaptures my hand. His behavior around me has changed. He seems more…open somehow.

“You’re different,” I say.

“Different how?”

I twist my lips to the side. “I’m not sure. Freer, maybe.”

“That’s because I don’t need to hide how I feel anymore.”

A fluttering sets off in my chest. “And you felt you had to hide it before?”

He nods.

“Why?”

His right shoulder bobs. “Because I didn’t want to get in between a husband and his wife, and I wasn’t sure whether you’d go back to Tanner eventually.”

A fierce resolve shoots through me. “I am never going back to Tanner. It took me too long to pluck up the courage to leave, but I stopped loving him years ago. He killed whatever love I once had for him, slowly and painfully. I may have only physically left him six weeks ago, but in my heart, I checked out years ago. Our marriage has been over for a very long time. You’re not getting in between anyone.”

He brings my hand to his lips, but instead of kissing the back of it in a somewhat old-fashioned manner, he turns it over and presses his lips to the inside of my wrist. Goosebumps pebble my skin, and arousal licks through my veins.

“That’s good to know.” His gaze inches lower, stopping when he reaches my mouth.

The nape of my neck prickles, the hairs there standing on end. What if I wasn’t sitting across from him but adjacent? Would he kiss me in front of all these people? Would I let him?

Yes!

He strokes his beard thoughtfully, then expels a soft sigh, his expression resigned. My pulse jolts, sensing he’s about to share something important.

“It’s always been you,” he says. “That’s why I’m not with anyone. I couldn’t commit to a long-term relationship with someone else because I’d already fallen for you.”

Shock rolls through me, and my heart takes off like a thoroughbred destined for victory. There’s sharing something important, then there’s rocking the foundations of my world. I hadn’t expected him to reveal something so monumental.

I spot the server on his way over with our food and give a firm shake of my head. Thankfully, he turns on his heel and heads back to the kitchen.

“Since when?” I manage to croak.

Another lift of his shoulder. “Before Tanner. Before Callum.”

My hand flutters to my throat. “Oh, Ciaran.” I feel breathless, as if I’ve run at full tilt for a good few minutes. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

He gives a short, bitter laugh, his gaze drifting away from mine. “Because I’m a fucking idiot who was too stupid or scared or whatever to stake my claim. To show you that I was the one you should be with. I was your destiny. Instead, I stood on the sidelines while Callum, then Tanner, took the very thing I wanted more than anything in the world.” His green eyes swing my way. “You.”

Dazed and overwhelmed, I fall silent. This is huge. How do I even begin to respond to such a monumental confession?

“Y’know,” he continues, letting me off the hook. “Callum told me a few weeks ago he’d figured out how I felt about you, and that’s why he broke up with you. I gave him holy hell at the time for treating you like shit, and all the while he was praying I’d step up, which, clearly, I didn’t.”

My eyes widen. “That’s why he broke up with me?”

“So it seems.”

“Wow. Callum has a heart.” I chuckle in an attempt to bring a little frivolity to the atmosphere between us, which, in an instant, has switched from light flirting to something far more profound. Ciaran, though, doesn’t join in.

“And then because I still didn’t tell you I liked you, Tanner got there first.”

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