Page 40 of Ciaran

I may have faced off against Tanner, dug deep and found the courage to tell him straight up we’re never getting back together, but now I have a new battle on my hands. I can’t get the memory of Ciaran’s mouth on mine out of my mind. The brief kiss we shared has awoken something in me that won’t be silenced.

How do I even begin this talk with him?

Probably by not telling him what a good friend he is.

I rub my face, hard. That wasn’t my finest moment. What a stupid line to trot out. I’d intended to tell him about my burgeoning feelings, but I have no real experience with guys. Tanner is the only man I’ve ever slept with, and I don’t know how to tell a man as wonderful as Ciaran that I find him attractive.

My growling stomach eventually forces me from my room. The coward in me hopes Ciaran won’t be around. I need more time to figure out the best way to deal with my screw up without his emerald-green gaze scattering my thoughts. Thankfully, I get my wish because he isn’t in the living room. I do, however, find someone who may be exactly the right person to talk to.

“Hey, Laurella.”

Callum’s girlfriend looks up from the magazine she’s flicking through with a big smile. “Hi.” She pats the seat next to her. “Come, sit. Are you hungry?”

I nod. “Starved.”

Laurella gets to her feet. “I’ll make you something.”

I gesture for her to sit back down. “You will do no such thing. I’ll do it.”

I rustle up a cheese and ham bagel, even though it still feels awkward to simply help myself to food I haven’t paid for. Maybe discussing household expenses is my opening gambit for striking up a conversation with Ciaran. It’s likely he’ll disagree with me contributing, leaving the path open for me to jokingly say something along the lines of me not being his girlfriend or anything. Then, depending on his reaction, I’ll have my answer.

It has to be a better approach than blurting out how I can’t stop thinking about him. I understand the allure of the bad boy—with Callum and Tanner as my relationship history, some may say I’m a glutton for punishment—but I’ve had enough of that type of guy to last me a lifetime. A man like Ciaran is perfect for me. I’m still confused why some gorgeous woman hasn’t snapped him up already.

“What are you looking so serious about?”

Startled from my thoughts, I lift my head. “Was I? Sorry.”

Laurella briefly frowns. “Are you going to be okay? Ciaran mentioned your husband turning up yesterday.” A faint blush colors her cheeks. “Not that he was gossiping or anything. He was worried, that’s all. We all are.”

I give what I hope is a reassuring smile and sit beside her on the couch. “Truthfully, if you’d asked me that a few weeks ago, I’d have said no. But now? Yeah, I think I’m going to be okay. In time.”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I was abused, too.”

My eyebrows shoot up. Her confession comes out of the blue but does confirm my suspicions from when we first met. Back then I wasn’t sure whether she’d been the victim or if she knew someone who was. I have the answer now. “By who?”

“A guy I used to work for. Mine was physical abuse, though, not emotional, and while I can’t fully understand what you went through during all those years, I do understand the crippling feeling of not being in control.”

I don’t know why I do it because I’m not a hugely tactile person with virtual strangers, but I wrap my arms around Laurella’s neck and hug her. “I’m so sorry.”

Her head bobs against my shoulder. It’s a few seconds before we break apart. “You know, Millie, I think you and I are destined to become great friends.”

“I hope so.”

We fall into a companionable silence, allowing me to eat my bagel before I put my empty plate in the dishwasher.

“Is Ciaran around?” My heart thumps as the question leaves my lips.

Laurella shakes her head, seemingly unaware of my skittish state. “He’s gone to the gym, then he mentioned something about heading to the shooting range.”

I hesitate. Who knows how long it’ll be before I get Laurella on her own and have an opportunity to grill her about Ciaran? “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Why isn’t Ciaran with anyone?”

Her lips press together, and her usually bright smile wavers. “Have you asked him?” When I shake my head, her mouth bunches. “Perhaps you should.”

“Maybe.” I smile apprehensively. “He’s the complete opposite of Tanner.”

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