Page 39 of Ciaran

She sounds resolute, and hope spikes within me. I give Callum and Laurella a look that says, ‘fuck off’. They read me well because they both get to their feet.

“We’ll leave you to it,” Laurella says, stopping to sweep her hand down Millie’s arm. “Anything you need, cara.”

Millie shoots her a tight but grateful smile. “Thank you.”

Callum’s hand presses to the small of Laurella’s back, and as he passes Millie, he leans in and says something to her I can’t hear. Whatever it is, she flinches.

“What did he say?” I ask when we’re alone.

“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

“It was something, and it matters to me.”

“He looking out for you, that’s all.” She perches on a stool and puts her head in her hands. “What a day.”

I can guess what that means. Callum warned her off. I make a mental note to tell him to keep his fucking nose out of my business. He might be the older twin by two minutes, but that doesn’t make him the fucking boss of me.

“Do you want something to drink?” I ask. “Coffee? Juice?”

She points at the bottles of beer Callum and I half-finished. “I’ll take one of those if that’s all right.”

“Sure thing.” I grab a fresh one from the fridge and twist off the cap. This time, when I aim at the trash can, I don’t miss. Maybe that’s an omen?

She picks at the corner of the label on the bottle of beer, her gaze avoiding mine. “I’m sorry.”

My pulse jumps. That could mean anything. Good or bad. “For what?”

She slowly raises her head. “For being so much trouble.”

“You’re no trouble.”

She grimaces. “I think you’re being too kind. I mean, sure, we were friends in school, but you don’t owe me anything, yet you’ve given me a job and a place to stay. You’ve shown me friendship and kindness. I shouldn’t have just walked away from you like that. I guess I thought I owed Tanner some sort of explanation. I wasn’t brave enough to face him in Chicago, and so I left a note with my house key, and ran. But somehow, these last few weeks…” She nibbles on the inside of her cheek. “My self-confidence, my sense of who I am is coming back. I have a long way to go, although every day I feel more and more like the person I used to be. I don’t jump every time I see someone in the street who reminds me of Tanner. I’m waking up less and less in the middle of the night with sweaty palms and heart palpitations. I only look over my shoulder a hundred times a day instead of a thousand. You’ve given me the belief that, one day, I could be safe.”

I capture her hand. “You are safe.”

She smiles. It brightens her whole face and lights up my insides. Should I tell her how I feel? Maybe now is the right time, especially as she’s been so firm about her relationship with Tanner being over.

“You’re such a good friend, Ciaran.”

Six words that blow my hopes to smithereens. The harsh reality I don’t want to fucking hear. My stomach twists painfully, like my guts are being wrung out.

I make myself smile, but it feels all wrong.

“That’s me,” I say cheerfully when all I really want to do is to punch something. Where’s Callum when I need him?

She tugs her hand from beneath mine and climbs down from the stool. “Well, I’ve taken up enough of your day, so I’ll let you do your thing. Thanks again for being so great, especially about the kiss and all.”

She disappears into her bedroom without a backward glance—and once again, I do nothing to stop her.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Chapter 15

Millie

A pounding headache caused by an interrupted night’s sleep wakes me far too early for a Sunday. My talk with Tanner exhausted me, especially coming right on the heels of Ciaran asking me about the kiss, meaning I’d tossed and turned all night.

God, I’m such an idiot. No wonder Ciaran is confused. Sure, he’d looked at me with the sort of tenderness I crave, but he’s that kind of guy: caring, considerate, thoughtful. At no point has he given me a sign that he feels anything other than friendship for me.

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