Page 26 of Chaos

It’s too hot to think clearly.

“Is this because of the anniversary?” Nikolai walks ahead of me and doesn’t look back when he asks.

“Fuck off. I just think I outta give him a chance.” I don’t want to tell him that there’s a part of me that misses having a brother.

And that it might be because the date of Kai’s death is rolling up on me.

It still isn’t fair he’s gone.

One day, I’ll find something to fill this hole in my chest.

In the meantime, it can’t hurt to get to know my own brother.

We load back into his car and I bask in the cool air as he peels out of the gravel pit.

By the time we get back into the city, I’m not as cranky.

Alexei is already inside with Enzo when we get there. Alexei always has a wild look in his eyes, the tattoos stretching up either side of his neck help give him an old school berserker vibe.

Most people don’t know he’s actually pretty chill.

“The birthday boy!” Alexei smacks me on the shoulder as I sit at the table.

Rhonnie steps near his side with her empty drink tray pinned beneath her elbow. “Birthday? First round is on me!” She gives me a slow wink before patting Nikolai on the top of his head.

She doesn’t see him scowl in response as she heads back to get our drinks.

“Next time, I pick the bar,” he grumbles. “I dislike how handsy she gets.”

“Ah, it’s because she hasn’t touched the right spot yet.” I grin as I push my sweaty hair back and prop my sunglasses on the top of my head.

Alexei laughs loudly, tipping his chair back to let his feet dangle between the legs. “Niki, you need to get laid. How long has it been?”

“I don’t know. When was the last time your mother visited?” Nikolai stretches his arms and lets a small smile play across his lips. “Put your chair down, animal.”

Alexei rolls his eyes dramatically before dropping it down. “Fine, Dad.” His palms fly up in a sign of surrender as Rhonnie returns with our drinks.

It wasn’t that long ago that Kai and I were joking just like this. He was the quiet one, always trying to keep me in line.

Now, I have no one. I didn’t realize I wanted a tether until he was gone.

Why did he have to die so close to my birthday? It makes this shit so tough when all I can think of is that it’s one more he isn’t here for.

We used to get a new tattoo every year and see what kind of trouble we could find.

Now, it’s hard to want to do anything but my job.

And even that is getting harder.

Boxing used to be my outlet. Until I was suspended for three months because I didn’t stop swinging after my opponent went down.

Any sense of self control I once had is laying in the ground in New York.

“Don’t you think, Jax?” Alexei interrupts my thoughts.

“What’s that?” I have no idea what he was talking about.

“I said, Enzo mentioned something about opening a new branch to his club here. I offered for us to try out the girls he wants to employ there.” Alexei grins like the Cheshire Cat with his boots propped on the table.

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