Page 2 of Chaos

With blurry vision, I toss down his black helmet.

It lands near the end of the mahogany box, right where his head rests beneath.

Pretty sure I just dropped my last give a shit down there with it.

I thought that when we killed Romano, this wouldn’t rip me apart so bad.

But it does.

I can’t bring him back.

The cold rain soaks through my suit and sends a shiver through my body.

Goddamnit, when did it get dark?

A clanging sound draws my attention to see two men folding the chairs and rolling up the fake grass ground cover.

It’s time.

“See you on the other side, Kai. I hope I make you proud.”

TWO

JAX

“Hit him again!” Grayson’s voice booms over the din of the crowd.

Dodging a left hook, I duck and give a hard uppercut to ‘Hurricane Hunter’, landing a solid blow to his chin.

The big man teeters, his eyes glass over, and his arms drop.

Slack jawed, he stumbles backwards and falls against the ropes. Sweat sprinkles off of his hair under the harsh lights before he sinks onto the mat.

“Knock out by the King of Chaos, Jax Carter!” The thin referee jumps in front of me and yanks my arm above his head.

My ears ring from the roar of the packed seats. Thousands of people cheer behind a wall of flashes and confetti falling from the ceiling.

Hunter got in a couple of jabs that make the room blur around the edges. Or maybe it’s the fading remains of my anger that lets everything come back into focus.

It’s been hard not to hold back in the fights.

Channeling the pain and emptiness in my chest into every punch seems to help for a little while.

“Jax! Jax! You did great, kid. Come on, let’s go.” Grayson’s large hand lands on my shoulder as he guides me out of the middle of the ring.

The high of the win fades as each step takes me farther into the bowels of the building to my changing room.

I feel nothing again. Like I need to go out and get wasted or get laid.

“You let him get too close again, Jax. Why are you dropping your guard when you know he’s telegraphing his every move?” Grayson’s blue eyes watch me as he unties my gloves. “Do you want him to hit you?”

“I don’t care if he does.” I don’t want to tell him there’s a part of me that wants to tap out. To get hammered so hard I can’t remember my past.

Kai’s empty chair mocks me from the other side of the room. It’s the spot he always sat, so he could reach the little fridge stocked with beer.

Grayson’s palm smacks against my cheek, startling me.

“Jax! What the fuck? Pull your head in, straighten your shit out. Go shower and change. I’ll see you back at the gym in the morning.” He jerks the towel from around his neck and throws it into the basket near the door. “Can’t stay in the past,” he mutters. “Learn from my mistakes; look forward.”

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