Page 120 of Chaos

Pushing my head out of my tee shirt, I’m met by a stinging slap against the back of my skull.

Nikolai glares at me. “You have a good woman. Do you know what I would give to have my wife back? And, you just run off and find some whore the second you get your little girly panties in a bunch? Come on.” He turns on his heel and stomps back into the elevator. That’s not what happened. I’d never go looking for another woman. I love Sofia. What the fuck did I do?

Why the fuck can’t I remember a damn thing?

Alexei gives me a push, then follows me in.

“What do I do now?” I whisper. My mind is still foggy, my stomach is twisting, and my heart is shattering into a million pieces.

Nikolai folds his thick arms across his chest, and his blue eyes pierce into me. “You talk to her.”

Hitting my head against the mirror, I’ve done exactly what I thought I would: proved I am a piece of shit, not worthy of anyone's love. This is going to wreck her, but I’ll make sure I destroy myself as punishment.

She deserves better. No one needs a fucking train-wreck like me in their life.

“You said you don’t remember? Maybe someone slipped you something?” Alexei says, tapping his chin.

I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. It doesn’t matter what the hell happened. I betrayed her in the worst possible way. Excuses don’t matter.

I fucked up, and now I have to face the consequences.

FIFTY-NINE

SOFIA

Song- Hold On, Chord Overstreet

The bread pops out of the toaster, making me jump. Even Maeve, clapping to herself, excitedly waiting for her breakfast, doesn’t make me smile.

I feel sick. Jax didn’t come home. I haven’t heard from anyone.

I feel overwhelmed as my thoughts are consumed by all the worst-case scenarios.

Cutting it into little squares, I give Maeve her food and grab my coffee, dialing Jax for the millionth time.

As the front door opens, I feel a sudden jolt and my coffee nearly spills from my trembling hands.

“Dadda!” Maeve excitedly squeals.

Jax walks in. His face is pale and his clothes are disheveled. He’s a complete wreck.

With my heart pounding, I rush over to him, feeling a wave of emotion wash over me. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding on tightly as tears threaten to spill from my eyes. I’m grateful he’s alive.

His body remains rigid, refusing to return the embrace.

"Don't touch me," he says, his voice cracking.

“Jax?”

Taking a step back, he shakes his head, creating a physical barrier between us. As I move forward, he wearily runs a hand over his face.

“Don’t,” he warns, and my blood runs cold at his harsh tone. “Trust me, after what I’m about to say, you won’t even want to be in the same room as me.”

Meeting his bloodshot eyes, a surge of adrenaline courses through me, making my heart race.

“W-what are you talking about, Jax?” Is he breaking up with me? What the hell is going on?

“Fuck,” he hisses. He can barely look at me.

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