Page 113 of Chaos

Alexei huffs as he collapses on the couch. “Fuck, they’ll wear ya out.”

Nikolai’s hand whips out and smacks Alexei on the back of the head. “Language, idiot.”

“Shit, sorry.” Alexei’s palm works over his scalp as I punch his other shoulder.

“Watch what you’re saying, asshat,” I scold.

Alexei turns and glares at me. “Is my English not as good as yours?” Rubbing his arm, he stands and disappears into the kitchen.

Lara gets up and follows him, throwing Nikolai a glare over her shoulder as she does.

“You’re cranky.” Nikolai doesn’t look at me. “You didn’t even want to hear Kai’s name last year. Too busy finding the bottom of a gallon of tequila.”

“So are you. More than usual.” I watch Sofia as she consoles the girls. They both rise off of her lap and run down the hall to Elena’s room.

I’m sure Nikolai is thinking about his wife. She’s been gone almost as long as Kai.

“Does it get any easier?” I ask quietly. I want him to say ‘yes’. That I have a light at the end of this black as fuck tunnel.

“No. I am constantly reminded of her.” Nikolai glances at me, then back to the girls as they run back in.

Maeve is wearing one of Elena’s shirts so that they’re matching.

“They almost look like sisters with their dark, curly hair.” Sofia nestles herself on the arm of the couch where I can touch her.

Alexei saunters from the kitchen with a handful of cold beers and hands one to Nikolai, then to me. “Well, they should. They’re cousins.”

“Alexei,” Nikolai growls.

“What, does that make us brothers, Niki?” I raise my bottle in the air as a salute.

“Niet.” His face is turning red, but he doesn’t look at me.

“What does that mean, then? Is that a Russian term?” Sofia sips on her champagne while staring at Nikolai.

His teeth clench. “It means nothing. Alexei has very bad English.”

“I fucking don’t!” Alexei yells as he leaps out of the way of Nikolai’s slap. “I know what the word is.” His finger points at Nikolai. “You were married to his sister. That makes them cousins.” His hand ends up in front of my face.

My sister?

“I don’t think so, Alexei.” I know he can be a bit wild sometimes, but he doesn’t lie. “What the heck are you trying to say?”

Alexei’s eyes narrow and his fist clenches. “Do not make me the donkey on this one. Her father was the same as yours, Sergy. They both died by Ivan’s hand.” His chin juts triumphantly.

My heart stops.

Darting out my hand, I grip Nikolai’s arm hard enough I know it hurts. I don’t care.

“Tell me he is wrong. And that you have not been lying to me for two years.” The room feels like it’s closing in on me.

Nikolai finally looks at me. For the first time, his skin is pale. “I didn’t. I just didn’t tell you, and you didn’t ask.”

This hollow feeling inside boils into rage. “How in the hell would I know to ask if I didn’t know she existed?” I shout.

Maeve and Elena begin to cry. Nikolai and Sofia both jump up and grab a fussing girl.

“Why would I create pain for no reason? What does it change?” Nikolai hisses as he folds his daughter into his shoulder.

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