Page 95 of Awakening

“I love you too,” I say as the tears finally trickle down my cheeks. I’m so tired of crying. I just want to live my life and be happy again.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay now,” Ethan says, brushing the tears away with his thumbs. “Talk to me.”

I take a deep breath and sigh as I reach out and cup his face in my hands. “When Ian was holding me captive, I thought I might not ever see you again,” I say, breaking into a full sob.

“Come here.” He pulls me tight to his chest. “You’re okay now. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere.” He rubs circles on my back and then kisses my hair as I cling to him. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find you in time. I tried. I really did,” he says as his voice cracks.

I nod into his shoulder. “I know. I knew the whole time you were doing everything in your power to find me.”

“I’m so thankful you had the strength to find a way to escape.” He pulls back to look at me, taking my hands in his. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I lower my gaze to our intertwined hands. “I’m not sure it’s something you want to know.”

“Why would you say that?” he asks, raising my chin.

“I don’t want you to think less of me. You just need to know I did everything I did because I love you. I did it to survive and to get away from Ian.”

“Baby.” He brushes my hair behind one ear. “I would never think less of you. I know you did what was necessary to survive.”

I tell him everything about Ian drugging me, to Colin showing up, not being able to feel the baby moving, and how I pretended I was willing to be with Colin so he would rescue me, and I could make my escape.

“Ian must have known what we were up to because that’s when he ran me down with his car.”

Ethan sits back on his heels, his fists clenched on his thighs. “What happened to Colin? I need to know where to find him so I can fucking kill him.”

I reach out and rub Ethan’s shoulder as I shake my head. “He’s dead. Ian told me he shifted, and he…he ripped his throat out.” I can barely get the words out despite the fact that I just did the very same thing to Ian. “The last time I saw him he was being held back by Ian’s guards while I ran away.”

“Are you okay?” Ethan asks.

With a shrug, I say, “I don’t know how I feel about that. Colin was willing to stoop lower than I ever thought possible, but his death was never something I contemplated.”

Ethan brings my hand to his lips for a kiss, and then says, “What about after what happened with Ian this afternoon? Are you okay?”

I sit still for a moment to think about the question. “Yes. He had every intention of killing me today. He got exactly what he deserved, and I have to be honest, I’m glad I’m the one who got to do it.” Ethan studies me with concern and just nods. I shake my head and look down at my hands as I burst into tears. “He killed our baby, Ethan,” I say, and then look up into Ethan’s eyes, which are now filled with tears too. “He took her from us, and out of all the things he’s done to us…I…I just couldn’t let that go.”

Ethan takes my face in his hands. “I am beyond fucking proud of you for what you did. You got justice for Evelyn. You made Ian pay, and I fucking love you for it.” He kisses me and pulls me into his arms, and we cry together as we mourn the loss of our baby girl. He holds me, caressing my back and hair until my shaking sobs finally ease. When he finally releases me, I groan as my body aches with changing positions.

“You experienced your first shift,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “Are you in pain?”

“Yes. I feel like I’ve been beaten with a baseball bat.”

“It should get better within a few hours,” he says, kissing my forehead. “The next couple of times might not be totally pain free, but they won’t be like this time. It’s just something we all have to get through to be able to shift on command with no discomfort.”

“That’s a good thing, or I might not be willing to consider it again. Thank God, I was able to shift when I did, though. It’s like my body just knew what to do.”

Ethan nods and pulls me into another hug, and then sits back with a sigh. “I need to examine you for injuries.”

“It was just my ankle. I got twisted up, and it turned in a direction it wasn’t meant to go, but I think it’s better now.”

“Stand for me. Let me see,” he insists. I stand and I’m able to put full weight on it now without pain. “Good. Now, drop the blanket and let me take a look. I want to be sure you don’t have any bite wounds that aren’t healing.” I do as he asks, allowing him to examine the front of my body, then turning so he can see my backside. “Everything looks…uh…looks really good,” he says, taking the blanket and draping it over my shoulders again. He takes my lips in a kiss. “A warm shower might help. How does that sound?”

“That sounds good.” He starts to follow me to the stairs, but I stop him with my hand on his chest. “Do you mind if I have some time alone?” I ask.

Ethan frowns, and then says, “Of course, if that’s what you want, but I’m worried about you.”

I give him a small smile. “I’m okay. I just need a few minutes alone with my own thoughts to process everything that’s happened this afternoon.”

While I can see from his rigid posture that Ethan doesn’t like the idea of leaving me alone, he nods. “I understand. Are you okay to get up the stairs on your own?”

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