Page 13 of Awakening

“I’m Olivia Evelyn Newman.” He also wants to know what year it is, what my parents’ names are, what my address is, my age, and just on and on.

“Olivia, I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I have to ask. Are your parents alive?” Anthony asks.

I frown at him. “You know they aren’t.”

“Do you have any children?” Anthony asks as they both study me intently.

“Children? No, of course not. You know I don’t have any kids,” I say with a dry laugh.

“Olivia,” the soft-spoken doctor says, “I know this is going to be very hard to hear, but I believe you are suffering from amnesia as a result of your head trauma.”

“Amnesia? But, I know who I am, and I remember Anthony. He and I were dating up until a couple of months ago.”

Anthony and the older doctor look at one another. “Olivia,” Anthony says, “honey, this is today’s date.” Anthony proceeds to show me the date on today’s newspaper as well as various other sources of proof. “I’m not in medical school anymore. I’m a surgical resident here at this hospital. You’d be twenty-five now, Liv.”

I shove the Denver newspaper away. “How did I end up in Denver?”

“We don’t know,” Anthony answers. “And, since you can’t remember, we don’t have a lot to go on right now.”

All the breath I have leaves my chest and my eyes start to water. “Stop it. You’re not being serious right now.”

“Olivia, I’m afraid we’re being very serious,” the older doctor says. “And,” he says, hesitating, “unfortunately, there’s more.”

“More than the fact I don’t remember the last several years of my life?” I say as tears begin to fall.

“I’m sorry, but yes,” the older doctor says. “Olivia, when you came to us yesterday…you were pregnant.”

“Pregnant? What?” My heart pounds in my chest. “So, you and I,” I say, looking at Anthony before it dawns on me that we didn’t just break up.

“No, Liv. Not me,” he says.

I look down at my flat stomach. “You said I was pregnant. Did I have the baby? Am I a mom now?” I ask as panic fills my chest.

“I’m so sorry, Olivia,” the older doctor says. “We did everything we possibly could, but I’m afraid we couldn’t save the baby. We believe your accident caused fatal injury to the baby, causing you to go into labor. There wasn’t anything we could do to stop the delivery. I’m sorry to say the baby had already passed upon birth.”

I can’t catch my breath. “A baby? I delivered unconscious?”

“Yes,” the doctor says. “It’s extremely rare, but possible.”

I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me for the second time. I reach down and touch my stomach without the slightest memory of being pregnant. How could I not remember something like that? I lift up the covers to look at my stomach again. It’s flat, just like I remember.

“I don’t look like I was just pregnant.”

“All women’s bodies look different with pregnancy, and some women bounce back faster than others,” the doctor says, while Anthony studies me with a scowl.

“Where is the baby now?”

“The baby will be kept safe here at the hospital until you’re ready to make further arrangements. Would you like to see her?” Anthony says.

“Her? A girl?”

“Yes, dear,” the older doctor says. “Very tiny and premature. I can have a nurse bring her to you if?—”

“No,” I practically shout. “I’m sorry. I can’t do that. Not yet.” I look up at Anthony. “Is that horrible of me?”

“Olivia, no,” Anthony says. “This is a hell of a lot to take in. It’s okay. You can see her when you’re ready.”

“I’ll leave the two of you to talk,” the older doctor says. “I’m very sorry for your loss, Olivia.” He leaves the room while Anthony walks back to the chair next to my bed and sits down.

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