I clear my throat and take a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking, actually.”
Colin’s eyes widen as he holds his fork mid-air. “You have? And?”
“I have to put my baby first, and I realized that the baby and I are only in this kind of danger right now because of Ethan. If it wasn’t for him, I never would have encountered Ian, and I definitely wouldn’t be here right now.”
“No, you wouldn’t. You and I would be planning our wedding and honeymoon right now. You’d be moved into our home by now.”
“I’m not sure that’s true either. Even if Ethan hadn’t come into the picture, you were still going to strip clubs and behaving completely inappropriately. You slept with someone else, Colin. I would have found out eventually.”
He puts down his fork and takes both of my hands. “I know, Olivia. I know. I promise you, there’s nothing I’ve done in my life that I regret more than that. I hate that I hurt you, especially in that way. But, if it weren’t for him, I do think we’d still be making those plans.”
My stomach twists into a painful knot just sitting here listening to him. “What makes you say that?”
“Because I would have done anything to make it up to you. I still will. I was a selfish, arrogant, asshole. I got caught up in everything and it went straight to my head. Not this time, though.”
“How do I know I can trust you this time?”
“Because, now I know I had everything when I had you. I know how it feels to lose it all. Nothing else matters if you aren’t there with me, Liv. Please, say you’ll give me another chance.”
I swallow hard and nod. “Only if you promise me none of that will ever happen again. I want to believe in you, Colin…in us.” Uttering the words makes me nauseous.
“Are you serious, Liv? Really? You’re coming back to me?”
“Can you promise me?”
“Yes. Absolutely.” He reaches across the bed and pulls me into his arms. “Oh, God. I can’t believe this is happening. I promise things will be different this time. I love you, Olivia.” He pulls back, taking my face in his hands. My entire body stiffens, and I feel the bile rising in my throat, knowing what’s about to happen. Just as his lips barely graze mine, I pull away.
“Colin,” I say putting my hands on his chest. “I just…I need to slow down a little. Okay? This is a lot really fast.”
He nods. “I’m sorry. I just got caught up in the moment. I’m so fucking happy right now.”
I smile and nod while my stomach turns. “It’s okay. Let’s just take things one step at a time.”
“You’re right,” he says. I have to keep myself from practically vomiting when he says, “I’m just excited to start my life with my girls.” He puts his hand on my growing tummy.
I stand abruptly and Colin frowns at my sudden distance. “Me too,” I say with a smile. “I just need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” he says with a smile that says he’s at ease again.
Going into the bathroom, I close the door behind me and lean against the vanity. I look up at myself in the mirror, seeing my pale skin and the dark circles under my eyes. I can do this. I have to do this. I stand up straight and take a few deep breaths as my stomach growls. I haven’t been able to eat much while I’ve been pretending to get back together with my ex-fiancé. I flush the toilet and wash my hands, even though I didn’t do anything, before rejoining Colin in the bedroom.
When I walk back in the room, he gives me the kind of genuine smile I remember when we first started dating, but that’s when I remember this man is only willing to help me out of this because he thinks I’m coming back to him.
He pats the bed next to him. “Come and eat.” I nod and smile, then sit next to him and dig into my chicken. “So, where do you want to go when I get you out tomorrow?”
“I need to go to a hospital immediately. I’m afraid of what the drugs could be doing to the baby. I need to get help as soon as possible.”
He shakes his head and says, “There won’t be time for that.”
My mouths drops open and I say, “We have to make time.”
“I’m sorry, but we have to get away. There is literally no time to stop. I’ll arrange for a doctor to meet us on the plane.”
“That’s not good enough, Colin.”
“Liv, it won’t be safe. The guards said once Ian discovers I’ve taken you without his permission, he’s going to go insane. I promise to get you to a hospital as soon as we’ve landed somewhere secure.”
I cannot express how much I want to slap him right now, but I just nod. “Fine.” I don’t plan on sticking with him once I’ve escaped anyway.