Page 80 of Awakening

My head whips up in shock. “What the hell did you just ask me?”

“You heard me. You had opportunity. Did you let him fuck you while you were staying there? Oh, I’m sorry,” he says with a spiteful smirk. “Would you prefer I refer to sex with your old boyfriend as making love? Does that make it better for you? Because it sure as fuck doesn’t help me!”

“How dare you?” I raise my hand to slap him, but he catches my wrist in his hand. I stare into his icy blue eyes as I feel mine glazing over with tears. “I would never do that, Ethan. It didn’t happen before I knew about you, and once I did…I would never.”

“And, neither would I,” he says, dropping my wrist and making his point. He turns his back on me and walks to the other side of the room. Turning back to me, he pulls his hands down his face and shakes his head. “How could you even think there could be someone else, Olivia? Have I not made it clear how much I fucking love you?” He turns and storms into our closet, and I hear him slamming drawers before he walks back out into the bedroom, stalking toward me, carrying two of his neckties.

I back up against the wall as far as I can go. “What are you doing with those?” I ask as my voice shakes. He says nothing, and I shriek when he picks me up and tosses me onto the bed. “Ethan,” I say with warning, “This is not the time to explore some kind of kinky sex shit. You are not punishing me with whatever you plan on doing with those.”

He kneels between my legs, hovering over me. “Relax,” he says very calmly as he traces my cheek with his finger. “This isn’t kinky sex shit,” he says with a grin, “and I’m not punishing you. I believe you when you say you didn’t do anything with him. This is about feeling our love, and you trusting me.”

“Ethan,” I say, shaking my head. I attempt to scramble backward, but he puts his arm around the back of my waist, pulling me to him.

“Do you trust me?” he asks, his steel blue eyes piercing mine.

“I…I don’t know.” My eyes start to water. “I’m sorry. I don’t know,” I whisper.

“It’s okay,” he whispers into my ear. “I already know you don’t, but I’m going to show you that you can.” He trails kisses down my neck, reaching for the hem of my sweater and pulling it off over my head. He then removes my bra and tosses both aside as he gently pushes me down flat on the bed. He reaches for one of the neckties and then brings both of my wrists together over my head to the headboard.

“Ethan,” I say, vigorously shaking my head, “I don’t think I can do this.” My heart pounds hard in my chest. I don’t know why, but the thought of being physically restrained terrifies me. It just always has.

“Baby, just relax,” he says, kissing the sensitive skin around my tattoo. I close my eyes and my breathing starts to calm as the pleasure flows through my body. “I love you. Give control over to me. Let me show you that you can trust me.” I nod slowly, now feeling intoxicated by his touch. “We’ve done this before,” he whispers. “You actually really enjoy it.”

Getting enough wits about me to think about this for a minute, I say, “Letting you tie my hands together doesn’t show me I can trust you in all things, Ethan.”

“No, it doesn’t, but it’s a start,” he says as he wraps the tie around my wrists, and then secures them to the headboard. He stares down at me in between looking at his work as he ties the necktie into a tight knot. He then reaches for the other necktie. “Close your eyes,” he says quietly.

My eyes do the exact opposite and widen as big as they possibly can when I realize what he has planned. “No. Huh uh. No fucking way is that happening, Ethan. You are not taking away my ability to see what’s coming at me.” If he knows me as well as he claims, then he should know that I need to know what to expect. I’m not about to willingly give up my ability to see what’s happening.

He leans down and takes my mouth with a dominant kiss. I close my eyes and whimper as his tongue brushes past my lips and into my mouth to dance with mine. “See, your eyes were closed, and you’re okay,” he says when we part. “Let go, Olivia. Trust me. Please,” he says as he kisses me again.

Taking a deep breath and releasing it, I nod and say, “Okay.”

My eyes close again in the passion of another kiss, and I feel the silky fabric being placed over my eyes. I can’t even cling to him because my hands are tied above my head. My chest begins to rise and fall rapidly as my breathing becomes panicked.

“You’re okay,” he whispers into my ear, then takes the soft lobe between his lips as he lifts my head to secure the tie. “Just remember that I love you. I would never hurt you, Olivia.”

I’m completely helpless and at his mercy. I can’t touch him, and I can’t see a damn thing. All I can do is take in how incredible he smells, and feel his body against mine. I feel the warmth of his hands on my breasts as his lips come back to mine. Every little touch and caress is heightened. He pulls away from our kiss and uses what feels like his fingertips to ever so lightly skim his way up and down my torso. He’s lighting a fire inside me by barely touching me. I inhale and gasp as goosebumps race to cover my body.

His lips are soft as they kiss their way down my neck and chest. My nipple is suddenly surrounded by the warmth of his mouth and the wetness of his circling tongue, only then to have the rush of a chill hit my skin as he pulls away and the cool air of the room surrounds it instead. I throw my head back as he then repeats the action on the other side, and I moan and writhe under him as the tension continues building in my core. He hasn’t even touched me below the waist, but that doesn’t stop my body from pulsing in need for him.

His weight lifts off of me, and he removes my boots one by one. When I feel his weight on me again I know he has taken his shirt off when I feel the heat of his skin against my own. His lips trail kisses down my stomach to the waist of my jeans, and he continues to kiss my lower abdomen as he removes them. He suddenly stops touching me and I hear him take a few steps away from me.

“Ethan?”

“I’m here, baby. I’m just taking a minute to appreciate how fucking gorgeous you are tied up like the perfect fucking gift in my bed.”

I swallow hard and my body tingles. I hear him unzip his jeans, the rustling of them being removed, and then hear them being tossed across the room. I inhale a large gasp when he takes my foot into his hand, then I sigh in pleasure as he begins by massaging the tense muscles, and kissing my ankle. My heart races in surprise as he then trails his tongue up the entire length of my leg, landing with a nibble on the front of my panties.

“I love you so much, Olivia,” he says as he kisses my stomach.

“Ethan, I need you,” I say with a breathy moan.

“I need you too, baby. Every part of you.” He snaps the waistband of my panties. “These need to go,” he says. My stomach flutters as he slowly drags the thin, lacy material down my legs. “Perfect.” My breathing quickens and I squirm as his lips place slow, sensual kisses up the entire length of my other leg. I’m practically panting, on fire for him, as I lie here feeling his breath on my arousal. It feels like an eternity that I wait for him to make his next move.

“Ethan, please. Now.” My hips are suddenly thrown into an upward thrust, and I cry out when his tongue reaches out to lick my sensitive clit. My arms struggle against their restraints as I fight my instinct to touch him.

I feel him smile against me as he holds my hips still. I’m wound so tight, I’m about to beg him to bring me relief when he finally drags his tongue up the length of my center, sucking the sensitive bud into his mouth and circling it with his tongue. My mouth drops open and I release a long, drawn out, moan. That’s all it takes. My body shakes and breaks out into a sweat as my orgasm spreads throughout my body.

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