Page 52 of Alarm Fatigue

A bit later there is a knock at the door. Hannah answers it to find Kim and Lila with groceries and a meatloaf, made with ground turkey meat of course, as well as green beans and a salad. Everything is delicious.

Over dinner, we catch up with my progress and Lila and Kim’s progress in planning for Singapore. As Hannah and Kim clear the table Lila and I head to the living room.

“Lila, honey you know, something has occurred to me just today.”

“What is that, mom?”

“The voices. I mean all my usual thoughts—the insecurities and thinking patterns…they seem to be unusually quiet this week. It is weird.”

Lila thinks about it for a few minutes. “Nope, I have no idea about what that means. But enjoy it—you deserve a break from all of that, mom, seriously.”

Hannah and Kimberly join us and we are all set to sit around and talk when I fall asleep again. Later Hannah wakes me and gets me to move into bed. I think sleepily about how many times I did that for her—found her passed out in some corner or another with a book in her hand and steered her off to bed.

“Eema, just for tonight I am going to stay here in the room with you okay?”

“Of course Hannah love.” Her kid-glove approach reminds me I am supposed to have a number of follow-up appointments, including the psychiatrist. “Do I have appointments set up for this week?”

“Yes we have a number of appointments this week, starting with your psychiatrist tomorrow and the cardiologist needs to see you in person the next day.”

“Aye-aye, captain,” I say, “just point me in the right direction, I will follow you there.” She tucks me in and crawls in the bed beside me and we drift off together.

Chapter 31

After the first three nights, Mark was finished working for the week and the girls have scattered and left me unchaperoned with my temporary roommate. Today was already amazing, in part because Lila brought the cats and they were glad to see me. At least for a few minutes. Then they just wanted to explore the house and the yard. Now, to top it off, I have Mark to myself. For a whole night.

Mark comes out from napping and looks scruffy and wonderful all at the same time.

“Rachel.” That voice. Will I ever desensitize to him saying my name like a greeting and a threat at the same time. I sigh and smile.

“Hello, Mark.”

He looks sleepily at me and then comes over to where I am on the couch and gives me a hug and a kiss on the top of my head.

“How is your day going, my love?”

“It was a good one. I went on my two walks and the cardiologist was happy with me at my follow-up appointment today. Oh, and I had a fur babies visit.”

“Really, how did they do?”

“Well as predicted they were thrilled to see me for about three and a half minutes and then they roamed. But they seemed to like it.” Mark looks happier with that news than I think is warranted.

“Glad to hear it was a good day. If this works for you, I will cook us some dinner after I shower and dress, okay?”

“Sure, take your time, I was going to go for a mini walk outside before it gets dark.”

“Okay. Sounds good.” He pauses on his way back to his room. “Before I forget, I meant to tell you, I brought you something back from Greece. Maybe you can open it after we eat?”

“I will never turn down a present.”

“Good to know.” I enjoy the view as he walks to the back of the house and then I go out for my walk. After about a twenty-minute walk around the vast yard, I head back to the house and walk in the kitchen entrance to find Mark at work at the stove, his back to me.

“Rachel?”

“It is I. And whatever that is, it smells amazing. Anything I can do to help?”

“Very funny, and no. Well, I made us some breakfast for dinner so come on in and grab a seat.”

“I love breakfast for dinner—actually I have always held the belief that one could have breakfast food for dinner every day and that should be perfectly acceptable.”

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