Page 46 of Alarm Fatigue

“I was born in Israel, but mostly grew up in the U.S. My mother’s family was Kurdish, and my father’s family was from Iraq. They both died many years ago, and I grew up mostly in New Jersey with one of my Dad’s sisters.” He turns conspiratorially to the children’s side of the table, “It is the Iraqi side that does the bread throwing.” He takes some peas and carrots before passing the bowl to the next person.

“Thank you all for inviting me, everything looks delicious.” He almost looks nervous for a moment before continuing, “It was really important to me to meet you all.” He looks like he wants to say more, but thinks better of it.

“You are most welcome. We are happy to see you again after some many years. So, do you have a big family?” Gavi asks him, while cutting up lamb for one of her children.

“As I told Rachel, I have twenty-three cousins, but I am really only close to about a third of them.”

“Ah, yes, the famous cousin that resembles a super model?” Lila looks at me with raised brows. I blush furiously on cue and frown at her.

“Yes, that was Tova. She lives in Italy. I grew up spending summers there. She is not a model though, just a physician.”

I clear my throat to change the subject. “Everyone that helped prepare this meal, thank you. And David, I will take a glass of that wine breathing next to you.”

“Of course, Rachel. Anyone else?” A few others request a glass and we get quieter as everyone gets busy with the business of eating. It is Amalie that breaks the silence next.

“How did you find the conditions at the camp in Greece, Mark? I have read that despite the fact that the refugee crisis is not recent, many of these camps continue to lack the infrastructure to handle the volume of persons that need to live there.”

“Unfortunately, that continues to be the case. The longer these conflicts in Middle East continue to drive people into these camps, I do not see an easy solution ahead.” Apparently no one else at the table has a solution either, as the topic kind of goes nowhere. Mark then turns to Gabriella. “I understand you are in a private practice. How do you find that?”

“Well it suits me, as I enjoy growing the relationships with our patients over time. Not something my mother was looking for in medicine.” With that, she smiles at me in a good-natured way.

“We do sometimes have repeat customers, but that is never a good thing in our field,” Mark quips.

“They are rare though.” I add.

“Currently,” Gavi continues, “I divide my time between a more traditional suburban practice for the well-insured and a free clinic that is supported by the Catholic Church. That practice is predominately Spanish-speaking, necessitating my becoming fluent, which I have enjoyed. Both are family practices. It is lovely to get to know the patients over time—to witness families grow and change, albeit in vastly different circumstances.”

“I marvel at your fortitude,” I say to Gavi. “I enjoy practicing medicine but am not inclined to build relationships in the processes. To each their own.” I smile at my eldest daughter. I am happy for her she has found her place. I certainly have made different choices that reflect my own comfort level. Mark turns to Lila and Kim next.

“So, Lila, Kim—I understand you really enjoyed Paris, and your next stop is Singapore?”

Lila and Kim take turns giving their highlights of their trip to Paris and go on to discuss what they are planning for their next journey. Mark has been to Paris several times, but Singapore is still on his wish list apparently. David opens a second bottle of wine and the conversation continues to flow, from one thing to the next. Mark and Kim are comparing the best places to get a macaroon in Paris as well as outlining the case for each of their favorite museums. Kim’s is the Musee d’Orsay, while his is the Rodin. Lila argues for the small museum in the Arc de Triomphe.

One by one, the grandchildren are sent up to bed and we each go up to tuck them in. Once the children are off to sleep, we settle in the living room. I watch my daughters take turns asking Mark general questions at first before Amalie, who has had several glasses of wine at this point, pointedly turns to Mark and just goes there.

“So you have been something of a thorn in my best friend’s side for a while—but we are now given to understand it was just a cover?”

Mark suddenly looks surprisingly prepared for this line of questioning. “It was a cover.” He looks at each of them in turn. “I have harbored feelings for Rachel for many years—I wanted to keep her from being in the uncomfortable situation that I was in.” He pauses to look at me. “Knowing that I was in love with her, despite the fact that she was married to my friend. I did not want her to know—unless she happened to show interest in me on her own.”

Amalie shakes her head. “So instead you elect to make her uncomfortable by being kind of an asshole—that was your plan?”

Yikes. “Amalie, that is unfair—”

“Rachel, she is not wrong. The truth is that I made my bed by acting that way in the first place, not really understanding my motivation until it was spelled out for me by Eli. Since I had already started with the asshole approach, to use your word, I kind of pigeon-holed myself.”

At this admission I take his hand, in solidarity. “Well, this has been lovely, but I think we will go ahead and call it a night. You all are wonderful but are starting to give me heartburn,” I rub my sternum, which is burning a bit. “We can leave you all to talk about us when we are gone.”

David, bless him, chuckles at that. Amalie is still frowning at Mark, however, and my instinct is to get us out of here before this gets any more intense. I stand, practically yanking Mark along with me. Everyone slowly rises around the living room to say goodbye.

Walking out to the car, I stop and turn to Mark. “Listen, they are bound to be protective. After everything.”

He puts his arms around me and draws me into the loveliest embrace. Kissing me on the cheek, he says, “As they should be. It is fine, and Amalie is not wrong. It was a defense mechanism that made sense when Eli was alive. The more we talk about it, the more I wonder if I was just committing to that course out of fear in the interim years. Do not get me wrong—” at this he draws back and looks me in the eye, “I really wanted to keep you at a distance unless a change in our relationship was your idea.”

“And then fate stepped in and brought us together anyway. Just for the record, except for that one time when Eli said something to you, you never really hurt my feelings. You just annoyed me endlessly.”

“Well I cannot promise not to continue to annoy you, just maybe for different reasons. I am sure I have all kinds of bachelor’s habits I am not even aware of.”

“As long as you do not leave the toilet seat up, I can handle most things.”

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