Page 20 of You're the Reason

Seth carried the groceries to the kitchen and started putting the refrigerator stuff away. He’d stopped giving her money for groceries long ago, knowing that half of it would go to alcohol and the other half to meth, but she’d always been good about paying rent since it wasn’t cash but a check made out to the landlord himself.

He searched the counter where he’d left the check, but it wasn’t there. Guess she figured out a way around that as well.

He gathered the bags of trash scattered around and added all the garbage that hadn’t quite made it to the can, including the remnants of last night’s binge—there were at least three empty vodka bottles sitting next to the sink. He carried it all to the dumpster and stopped at the mailbox. It was crammed full. Good thing he hadn’t waited another day.

He pulled the mail out and sorted it on the way back. Half was his since he’d been using this place as a forwarding address until he found a place to land.

By the time he came back, his mother had risen from the couch, found different clothes, and was digging through the grocery sacks.

“Did you buy me any cigarettes?” Her bloodshot eyes were desperate. She now wore threadbare sweatpants and a tank top that hung on her frame, emphasizing the sharp lines of her collarbone and the top of her rib cage just below her neck.

“No cigarettes, no alcohol—just some fruit, vegetables, peanut butter, bread, and milk.”

“What about cold medicine? You know I have allergies.” Her raspy voice lowered as her eyes flicked around the room. Finally, she pulled a banana from the bag.

He couldn’t force her to take care of herself, and he couldn’t force her to get help. “Mom, why does your landlord say he hasn’t gotten rent in two months? What did you do with the checks I gave you?”

His mom suddenly look anywhere but at him as she peeled the banana, her movements more childlike than that of a forty-five-year-old woman. “Lost them.”

“They were cashed.” He’d checked that on the way back from the dumpster.

“Something came up.”

He wanted to question her further but what was the point? He knew what came up. No doubt whatever had been in that baggie. She’d once been all about heroine, but she seemed to favor meth these days.

Her eyes darted back to his. “Just leave another check on the table. I’ll drop it off today. Promise.”

Few things pushed his buttons like the wordpromisecoming out of his mom’s mouth.“I promise it will be different this time.” “I promise I’ll be there.” “I promise it will never happen again.”

He opened the fridge and started pulling out some of the rotten food and shoving it into another trash bag. “I’ll pay your landlord from now on.”

“Oh, come on, Sethy, you remember how it was. It wasn’t so long ago you were begging me for money.”

The only thing he’d ever begged for from her was food, but she was correct about one thing at least. He did know what addiction had done to him.

“I changed.” Seth shut the fridge, tucked his mail under his arm, and carried another bag of trash to the door. “You could too.”

When she just stared at him, he opened the door. “See you next week. And keep this door locked.”

He let it slam behind him and tossed the final bag in the dumpster then headed to the landlord’s door. He pulled out his checkbook and calculated what his new balance would be. Two months’ rent would clean him out. But what was the alternative, let his mom be homeless with him? That wouldn’t make things any better.

He scribbled out the check and knocked on the door.

Jack answered, the odor wafting out the door from his place not much better than his mom’s had been. He eyed Seth a moment, then took the check. “Better not be late again.”

“I’ll pay you directly from now on.” Jack nodded, then slammed the door in his face.

Seth knew Jack preferred cash since most of his tenants bounced checks left and right, but Seth had always been good for it. Then again, after that check, his next one wouldn’t be good unless he could get a solid job.

He climbed into his car just as his phone rang. An unknown number flashed across the screen. He tossed the mail on the seat next to him and took the call. “This is Seth Warner.”

“Seth, this is Brad from JBL Corporation. We have decided to go in another direction. Thank you for applying.”

That didn’t take long. Although it was better than the companies that took the time to explain something had come up in his background check. Otherwise, he was perfect. Like that made it better.

“Thanks for the call. If anything opens—” The line went dead. Right.

Seth snatched the legal pad from the seat and scratched out the last option. He tossed it back in the seat and let his head fall back as he pressed his eyes shut. Now what?

---