Page 19 of Tortured

But I sure as vreck wish there was another way, any other way.

10

KOEHN

We fall into a rhythm of sorts over the next few days but on the third day when we’re coming into the system by Calon 5. I pass by her in the hall and see a look on her face that startles me.

It shouldn’t. I keep saying the sadness on her face at odd times and although we have talked about many things, I still don’t understand that look.

And it’s really starting to bother me. I feel the need to push her. To find out what it is and if it’s something I did.

So when we run across each other in the hallway, I can’t help myself. I reach out to touch her arm and hold her still.

“What is going on with you? You’re not planning to do something else, are you, small one? Because we do not have time for that. We’re almost to Calon 5.”

Her body stiffens and she turns to glare at me. “I’m not going to do anything else. I’m still trapped in this hell of a life right now and strangely I don’t like it.”

“Have I done something to offend you or hurt you?”

Her lip curls. “Just like a human man. Everything has to be about you. It can’t be that I’m struggling with all of this. I’m essentially a prisoner in another galaxy even though I’m not trapped in a cell…currently. I suppose that could change at any point.”

Now my own back stiffens and strangely, so does my cock. I like when she gets that fight back in her and I’ve been missing it. “I do not think that I am responsible for all of your moods, as humans say. But I do believe that something is going on here and it’s more than being trapped in our company.”

Her eyes turn distant. “I’m tired. That’s all.”

“Is the sleeping cabin not to your liking? I can try to work something else out for you but we will soon be on Calon 5 and that will mean another place to sleep. But you might find it even more uncomfortable.”

She will. The things that we will have to do will shock her and though I have tried, I cannot come up with any other way to do this. It’s not going to be fair to her and it will be hard. I need to make sure that her head is in the right place. Firmly in the here and now with no confusion. It’s imperative to our mission or it will fail.

I hold her arm tighter as she glares at me. “I need to make sure that you understand what’s going on, small one. This mission will be hard and we will both have to do difficult things. We can’t be tired. I refuse to let either of us die because of sleep.

She turns away but before she does I catch the sparkle of tears in her warm brown eyes.

I know I should let her go. She’s barely keeping it together and whatever is eating at her, is horrible, soul-destroying and probably more than I can bear.

But I can’t stop myself from asking.

“Lacey, what’s wrong?” I ask. I keep my voice low and gentle, sure that if I don’t her trembling body may snap with the tension and sorrow she’s carrying. I don’t want to frighten her, push her. But I feel this need to care for her and it’s overwhelming me.

I clasp her elbow in one hand and gently turn her back to face me.

“Nothing’s wrong,” she whispers. I can practically feel her pain vibrating through me and her words are thick with tears. I feel a tightening in my chest. I can’t bear to see her so hurt, her fragile neck drooping like she just can’t hold it up. Her breaths come out ragged and broken. Her long, golden hair falls forward in a veil that hides her face, cascading down her shoulders.

“Lacey,” I growl softly. With one more deep, shuddering breath, she looks up at me and my heart stops. I’ve never seen such despair and torment. It oozes over me like a sticky, uncooked farron cake. Raw, dark and unappetizing.

“I can’t sleep. I can’t eat.” Her hand waves in front of her face. “Not that that stuff that comes out of the food machine is tempting in the least. I can’t stop thinking about my situation and I hate it! I hate you!”

She chokes on a sob and I fight to keep from pulling her into my chest and kissing her. It’s so hard to see her like this. So broken. She looks worse than she did when we found them in those granthing cells.

“I can’t stop thinking about my babies,” she groans. Tears pool and fall unchecked down her ashen cheeks

“Your…babies? Small ones?” Shock crashes over me. “You have young ones?” This changes everything. If this is true, she must be returned to her young ones. The council cannot condone this kind of damage to a lesser species. To leave young ones without their female, their…mother is unconscionable. The rules must be bent for a female with young ones that need her guidance, her…love.

“I had young ones, Koehn,” she sighs heavily. “I lost them.”

Well that explains the brief flashes of pain in her warm eyes, along with the quiet shroud of darkness that seems to hang around her.

I sigh. “How?” I’ve seen many, many things over my many cycles in my lifetime. I’ve seen the horrors of war and the awful destruction left behind by it. But something tells me that this story will be worse than anything I’ve ever seen. Because she’s lived it and it hurt her so badly that she still relives it every night in bed. To the point that she cannot sleep. Cannot eat. Only see it over and over again in her mind. I wish that I had the machine on the ship that would wipe out these horrible memories and give her a chance at a normal life. Such as it can be.

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