Page 60 of Used By the Bratva

“Fuck Natalie, you were just a kid. And I was spent after … I had nothing left in me,” he says, his voice gruff. “You came out of the basement with Boris and looked at me like you were daring me to kill you, too. You were only five years old then, but you were willing to fight me even though you didn’t understand what was happening.”

I force myself to smile a little, even though tears run down my cheeks just thinking about what he’s been through. “Wow, it sounds like I used to be a badass.”

The corner of his mouth twitches as he looks at me. “You still are. And promise me you'll never stop fighting.”

My lower lip trembles. “I wish I'd known that Pavel was the reason you killed him. I thought you were a cold-blooded murderer, but you were justified in killing him.”

His eyes widen. “Do you really mean that?”

“I am new to this world, but I know that if a man kills your brother, you have the right to avenge your family.” A lump catches in my throat as I try to continue speaking. I take a deep breath and try to get the words out. “I’m sorry you have to think about that every time you look at me. Why are you punishing yourself by being with me?”

To my surprise, he comes closer and holds my hands. “I don’t see that every time I look at you. I see a fierce woman who would do anything to protect her family.”

“Yes, but imagine how things could have been if we were two normal people from two normal families. We wouldn’t have to look at each other and be reminded of the deaths that took place between us.”

He sucks in a sharp breath. “I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“In another life, if things had been normal, we might have fallen in love instead of just trying to find a way to survive together.”

“You wouldn’t have loved me either way, Natalie. I lied to you for weeks about who you were. I had you hunted down, even though you thought walking straight into the lion’s den would be a clever idea. I taunted you with what I did to your family and tried to hurt you even though I still wanted you.”

I cup his face in my hands, forcing him to look me in the eye. “I’m still here despite all that.”

“I didn’t give you a choice. I threatened to kill the people you love. I kept you caged when you’re meant to be free.”

“You’ve opened the door to that cage. I have all the freedom I want, and each night, I return to you because I know it’s where I belong.”

Leon blinks slowly like he’s having difficulty processing what I’ve just said to him.

Some of the pain clears from his eyes, and he puts his hands on my waist. “You really mean that, don’t you?”

“I do. If things were different, I could have fallen in love with you without fear or guilt, but I think the adventure we’re embarking on together is more exciting. Because if we weren’t the people we are now, we wouldn’t have a baby together.”

His hand drops to my stomach, and he smiles. “I guess you have a point there.”

“I know I do.” My thumbs smooth over his jawline as his head dips closer to mine.

“In another universe, I would have held you in my arms all night on the first night just so you couldn’t run away.”

My heart threatens to leap out of my chest as I lean against him. He holds me tight and sways us to the sound of the waves coming through the open window.

When he stops, his eyes fall on my mouth.

He smiles against my lips, but the salt of my tears lingers there, a weight that presses heavily on my heart.

Now I know what made him the man he is today. A tough, ruthless man who was born into the life of the mafia and learned that pain is not a weakness but a shield that protects him and everyone around him.

As Leon’s lips move against mine, I toss all thoughts of another life out the window.

The life we're living right now is deeply flawed, but it's the life I was chosen to live.

With Leon and our baby and a whole history of disasters behind us, we are both still trying to cope with.

Chapter 23 - Leon

Natalie kneels in the sand, her black bikini leaving little to be desired. She builds the sandcastle higher and grins. She looks back at me with sand-covered hands.

“Are you sure you don’t want to build a sandcastle with me? You know you should start practicing. Live a little. Maybe act like a child for the first time in your life.”

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