Page 24 of Used By the Bratva

Nodding, I grab a tie, put it on, and smooth it out under my buttoned jacket before combing my hair to style it back.

“Enough talk about the girl.” I nod toward the stairs and wait for Boris to go down first. “The last thing I need is for my family to know the truth about her.”

“Do you think it would be bad? It’s been years since the incident.”

As I look at him, my eyebrows draw together, and my mouth twists into a deep frown. “Have you ever seen my brother forgive those who have wronged him?”

“Well, you might have a point there.”

“Of course I do.”

That secret will follow me to the grave no matter what Boris may believe.

Chapter 10 - Natalie

“Alright, Natalie, I’ll be back in a few minutes with the test results,” Doctor Blakeney says as she stands up and takes the small vial of blood. “Try to stay calm, okay? I know this can be a worrying time, but the best thing you can do for yourself is not to panic.”

I force a small smile, but my mind is already spiraling. “Thank you.”

She leaves the room, closes the pale blue door behind her, and leaves me sitting on the examination bed, the paper crinkling beneath me as I move.

I didn’t think I would come here today, but Pearl insisted. She rode the subway with me, taking almost a twenty-minute detour to make sure I went to the doctor.

A bubbling feeling spreads through my stomach, and bile rises in my throat as I look for the nearest garbage can as a precaution. There’s one next to the small sink on the other side of the room, but if I throw up again, I might not get there fast enough. I glimpse in the mirror and wish the green tinge on my skin would disappear.

I’ve spent the last week feeling sick, alternating between vomiting everything I eat and not being able to eat anything because of the dread that fills me constantly.

Deep breaths. Just keep taking deep breaths, and you’ll get through this.

It’s a false alarm, I tell myself since I didn't get my period two weeks ago.

Some of the girls in my oil painting class swear by the power of positive thinking, and I have adopted their beliefs, but so far, nothing has worked in my favor.

There is a knock at the door before Doctor Blakeney re-enters the room. “The nurse will bring the test results as soon as she has them. It shouldn’t be too long, but if you want to talk about what’s happening in your body right now, we can.”

“I don’t know if there’s much to talk about.” I clasp my hands together in my lap, looking down at them. There are specks of paint on them from the piece I worked on last night.

Blue, the same shade as the ocean at dusk, and the color of Leon’s stormy eyes.

Doctor Blakeney nods. “I know. It can feel like a lot. I went through the same rollercoaster of emotions when I was pregnant with my first child. Waiting for the test results is one of the hardest parts.”

My hands feel numb, even as my fingers dig into my skin. “I came here for a test because I heard that the tests you do at home can give a false positive, and I wanted to be sure.”

“That’s correct.” Doctor Blakeney sits on the stool, scooting her way over to me. “Now, if this test returns positive, we can discuss your options.”

“I’m keeping the baby.” The words are shaky, but they are true.

If the test results indicate that I'm carrying Leon’s baby, I’ll keep it. He will never know about it. I can move back to Russia, and I’m sure Marina will help me raise the child.

The thought of giving up a child when my own biological family has given me up is too much for me. I know what it’s like to wonder why your birth mother didn’t want you. No matter what, I don’t want another child to go through that if I can control it.

There is another knock at the door, and a nurse comes in and hands Doctor Blakeney a folded piece of paper. She opens it and lets her eyes glide over the page before she hands it to me. “The third line from the bottom contains the pregnancy test result.”

My body feels numb; a shiver runs through me as I take the paper from her. The letters blur before me as I try to decipher what is written.

Positive.

Silence fills the room as I read the result over and over. Part of me is excited; the other part hopes I’ve misread.

---