Page 18 of King of Players

Because sure enough, right now I was nowhere near the ground. The world felt like it was a million miles away, while my head floated in a thickening cloud of nirvana. The sounds around us were drowned out by my moans of ecstasy, as Chad made sure every stroke and touch did something wonderful to my body. The very air I breathed smelled like him—his cologne, his sweat.

And when I was painfully ready to make the jump; to lose myself in a moment of release, Chad knew exactly what to do. Although him stopping felt like an eternal gesture aimed to tease, the sight of him rising over me and sliding down his boxer shorts promised an epic conclusion.

My mind raced and for a second, I feared that I was about to be overwhelmed by logic again. Was there no condom? Was I truly ready for a man I barely knew to come inside me? Did I need to talk to a therapist?

He must have seen all of this and more, because as he eased himself into me, his eyes locked on mine and lingered, emanating what could only be—if I dared believe it—a loving gaze. A deeply affectionate look that carried the warmest of emotions. Something painfully human radiated from his eyes into mine, calming my nerves and allowing me to relax, if only for a moment.

Because after that…

After that, the world quaked.

With a loud, throaty cry, I squeezed my eyelids shut and surrendered to Chad’s full control over me. He was inside of me, over me and all around me. His hands, his legs, his smell. Somehow, it felt as though I was the one inside of him.

He didn’t say my name, not once during this battle of desire and relief. In fact, he didn’t talk at all. Everything he wanted to say, he could deliver with his hands, his fingers, and his lips. Every charmed drop of meaning couldn’t have been any better if he had tried to put it into words.

My entire understanding of my own pleasure and the heights my body could reach were shattered within a minute; a minute where the loudest scream felt too little. All the pathways in my head somehow got rewired as I—a grown woman in my late twenties—discovered that I knew nothing of lovemaking; if I dared to label my previous encounters as such.

Divinity must have originated in a moment like this.

And then the dust settled.

My lungs could once again catch a breath.

The haze before my eyes began to clear, and I could see his beautiful figure towering over me, glistening with sweat and gasping for air. I didn’t know how my face responded to everything I had just experienced, but it couldn’t have been good, because when he looked down, he seemed concerned.

“Di—Did I hurt you?” he whispered, his hand reaching for my cheek.

“No,” I thought I said, but did the words actually leave my mouth? Pushing myself up on one elbow, my other hand reached down to quickly pull up my panties as I attempted to sit up.

“What? Kaira, what?” He gently grabbed me by the shoulders, his eyes searching my face. “Kaira, what did I do? Tell me.”

Without much thought, I felt my right hand dip itself between my thighs and stay there. As if unconsciously, I squeezed my legs together and looked away. “Nothing,” I whispered, and it came out hoarse, so I repeated, “Nothing. I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Tilting his entire upper half, his fingers tenderly grasped my chin as he tugged, trying to get me to look him in the eyes. “Kaira, you know you can tell me.”

Tell him what?

I didn’t even know what was happening or how to decipher the feelings raging inside of me. Had every past connection of mine been a lie? Had I truly been so unsatisfied, so unfulfilled? Were all the men in my life aware of this, or did they—like me—simply not know any better?

“I think you should go now,” I finally said.

As his foot touched the ground, he pulled up his pants, not taking his eyes off of me as he zipped them up. “I can stay. We can talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” I sternly insisted. “I’ll call you.”

I knew a man with his pride wouldn’t continue with this, or it would so easily and seamlessly cross over to humiliation.

And so… he left.

eight

Life and Everything

Chad

I was so entirely wiped when I went to bed that night that I slept in my clothes. Who would have thought that Kaira Bradley would give it up on the first non-date? Abel was wrong about her—in fact, everyone was. She was a fairly open woman, once one knew how to talk to her.

If only I knew what had gone wrong toward the end, that made her freak out on me like that.

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