Page 29 of King of Justice

“Parfaite. No rain, no?”

“Not today.” I forced a giggle. “How’s papa?”

“Super. You sure tu est bien?”

“Oui, pourquoi?”

“Your smile?” She looked at me through the screen as if in reality. “Allez, you know you can tell me.”

Hesitating, I smacked my lips and looked downward before looking back up. “This guy.” I shrugged.

She laughed louder than she should have while drawing out, “Bien sûr.”

“Maman!”

“Look.” She grazed her lips with her thumb, then pinched them slightly as if to stall. “You got your writing from me, no? But this… this… bohémien way with men? It’s all your papa.”

“Ew?”

“You understand.” Her eyes spoke more than her words. “You believe he came to Paris for studies? Bien sûr, but not only. He liked—no, he loved—women.” Squeezing her eyes shut, she clasped her hands together in an exaggerated manner. “Tall, short, dark, white—”

“I get it!” I interrupted her. “But I don’t love this one.”

“Yet?”

“I don’t want to.”

“Why not, chérie?”

“Because what if he’s not the one? What if I have to keep looping in this cycle forever?”

“Papa did not, no? We’re still here.”

“You got lucky.”

“Everyone gets lucky sometimes. But if you never try? How will you know?”

“I’m not ready.”

“Alors, pourquoi the face?”

“I don’t like the way I left things, that’s all.”

“You made a Sophie?”

“I begged you not to say that again.”

She softly chuckled. “What was it, pulled? You pulled a Sophie?”

“Mom!” I whined before hearing Travis call my name. “A—Anyway, look. I have to go. Kiss papa, d’accord?”

She blew me a kiss through the screen before we ended the call.

I wanted her to tell me that leaving the way I had was acceptable, but instead, she called it ‘pulling a Sophie’. And I wasn’t stupid; I knew that at twenty-six, I should have stopped behaving the way I did in high school. I couldn’t help it. Every time I got close to a man, I somehow pictured the whole thing falling apart. So why not tear it to shreds now? Why wait until later, when there would definitely be emotions and history? I tried that once, and it wasn’t pretty.

When the class was over, Travis and I decided to grab some lunch with our buddies at the center. While we were at the pizza place, a friend of his called and told him that they were hanging out at some bar later.

“Wanna come with?” He wiped his hands with a napkin.

---